Part II

mooooved.

2009-07-01T00:49:00.006+08:00

http://sewei.blogspot.com

let's go exploring :))

sunday night with michael jackson

2009-06-28T20:39:00.002+08:00

hi i'm back. probably because it's sunday night and i cannot get over the fact that michael jackson died. and i remember reading somewhere that people only blog when they feel sad. hmph. nah. in fact i'm more disappointed than sad that michael jackson cannot make it to his comeback concerts. i was so looking forward to seeing how a 50 year old would be able to do moonwalks, would be able to grab his crotch while making people scream. but seriously, for a short period of my life, i was a hardcore fan of michael jackson. and i actually tried to learn the moonwalk but i decided to give up because i was spoiling my shoes pretty fast. faster than when i play football everyday after school. well at least that was before he kidnaps children and play with their kkb.

he's still the king of pop though, because never have anyone witnessed someone so spectacular in entertainment. someone that was able to dominate the charts and all genres of music.

never has someone soared so high and dived so low. how apt.

and as i try to not remember michael jackson as a potential paedophile, out of respect for a king, i received another shocking news on facebook. that megan fox was born a guy. wtf. i still remember how i told all of my friends that she was the hottest women i've ever seen after the first transformers movie (the car scene of course). and this hot babe could be a guy. luckily enough, someone, i think it was jiaw, did say that it has been clarified that megan fox is born a female. yet it doesn't stop me from suspecting. just think about how ronaldo told all man utd fans he wanted to stay at old trafford for life. gosh.

which probably tee-ed down transformers 2 for me. yea, i found out this megan fox news half an hour before i left my house for the movie. megan fox wasn't hot in that movie anymore. to make it worse, the plot was fucking horrible, so bad that i believe it was only produced to sell toys. pimp my transformers?! and the scene when sam witwicky was supposed to die. well he rose up to the sky to only see that the holy spirits are in fact robots. absolutely wtf. i was laughing my ass off during that scene. i believe the rest of the people in my row were laughing as well. and i could hear gabriel sighing. haha. really really horrible.

anyway, guess what. i've actually bought 2 books to read! i realised that since i have been out of touch with words and grammar since before my birthday, i need to do something about it. well next semester, i no longer have grammar classes to remind me how horrible my engrish is and i'm on my own. good thing is, i've decided to do mostly econs modules, and they don't exactly fault you for tense errors. but yes, i need to start keeping in touch with academics. oh by the way, don't ask but i did score pretty badly last semester. as always, time to buck up.

haha. like how 'the perks of being a wallflower' could help my economics. 'outliers' might though.

AND I'VE FINALLY JOINED A CCA IN NUS! and surprise surprise, football! haha. but i'm still so far away from fitness and i'm just salivating at how fit the first-teamers are. hopefully i'm not that far off though, but i'll be missing the upcoming TIG because of vietnam. hopefully i'll start running on my own in the coming week. running buddies anyone? oh oh, and i scored two goals and an assist today! woot! and i made a last ditch save when i was too tired to play outfield. hurhur.

i'm such a show off.

last big news of the day. ian told me that he sort of declared to the girl he likes that he's interested. haha. and he was only telling me because i'm the only person that relate to this kind of experience. the kind experience where you just wished that nothing has been done, yet you do not wish to regret what you'll never do. hahaha. omfg. more importantly, he did it through sms. anyway, this was what he texted

"i really hope that the next time i see you, i can talk to you face to face without being overly shy."

i thought it was quite cute though, especially when it's coming from ian. and then the whole team was screaming that i should be the last person ian should look for when asking for advice on girls. HAHA. fuck my life.

well at least now that with football, i sort of stop regretting and having those very ridiculous thoughts. once again, how important it is to have a direction in life. and most importantly, i'm happy that i'm keeping certain memories sweet, and i've stopped shrieking at the thoughts of the weird things i've said and done. well, time is looking like the best solution and so is nature. the best news is that everyone's happy right now =)

on my way to my ivp dream. woot. and then i realised that man utd do not have a number 7 anymore. hehe.

____________________

last night i saw you in my dream again
still as pretty, almost beautiful

ken lloyd tan.

2009-06-21T22:06:00.004+08:00

i just came back from the wake of one of the recruits i have taken more than a couple of years back. and of all the recruits to meet with a motorcycle accident, it has to be the one that is the most positive, cheerful and fun-loving. rest in peace ken, and thank you for all the joy you have brought to this world.

this incident did not just remind me how time flies, but how we can get carried away with all the commitments we have at the moments. just a few days back, when i was having lunch with my cousin who was back from the states, i was describing to him how i actually disciplined my recruits. and i particularly recalled how i made ken do the half-squats with palm-sized leaves placed on his lap. yes the idea was for him to balance those leaves in the half-squat position for as long as possible, and anything else would result in additional punishments. and yes, it was because he was always the one that stood on 'one-leg'. but it's the way he took those punishments that stuck so deep in my mind. he was always smiling, always trying to make people around him laugh.

and of course there are so many many memories that start to pour back, and yes, i can never imagine anyone not miss ken.

yet it was his gestures just before he passed on that surprised me the most. surprised, because the things he did were just beautiful. first, instead of putting the blame on his friend that drove the motorbike, he asked his father to support that friend financially as he recovers from the accident. i can never think of anyone that can be more forgiving. and it's how he was able to remain positive, still smiling, when he was lying in the hospital even though the pain he was going through was extraordinarily unbearable. how he wanted to make sure that his organs can be used for greater good in the future. how he could use his savings to help some of his friends who have financial difficulties. how he wanted his family to be happy even though he can no longer be around. how he could think about everyone else around him as he faced death.

what a wonderful human being. and it's really heartbreaking to know of another nice guy that couldn't survive in this world long enough. yet, on the more positive note, perhaps he's going some place better earlier.

it has been a real honour knowing you ken. real, real honour.

girlfriend!!

2009-05-27T21:25:00.000+08:00

:)

2009-05-24T12:43:00.006+08:00

vs

vs

vs

stranger

2009-05-23T19:44:00.003+08:00

ahh. i'm super bored. there's no football tonight and neither do i club. worse is, i'm alone at home because my parents are out on a cruise while my brother is, surprise surprise, spending time with his girlfriend. makes me really envious you know, everytime when i see people in love spending their time together. especially after the super emo-romantic korean movie last night, i'm having this sentiment that being in love is the happiest thing ever. ahh, ridiculous thoughts like this always appear when i'm alone, hurhur. still a boy desperately trying to mature. jia lao buay dua!

anyway, i was sort of thinking about how we stereotype people so easily. just to list an incident that happened this morning: anthony and mukunthan got their phones and wallets stolen when we were playing football at bukit timah field this morning. well to make it worse, we didn't win the game, even though i was composed enough to score a penalty (yes! still, i don't think it's enough to cover my miss from inside 6 yard box, in front of an open goal a week ago. horror!). anyway, back to the stealing incident. police report made bla bla bla, and i am not hopeful that the both of them will get their stuff. in fact, there is one thing that disturbs me more than that. it's how quickly my friend were to pin-point the race of the likely suspects.

i won't say that it is especially offensive to do so, and given our clashes with people of different skin colours, it's sort of natural to have certain negative impressions. just to clarify, i'm not saying that my group of friends and i are racist, in fact, mukunthan and luqman are not chinese and we enjoy their company. or perhaps look at it from a brighter perspective- why is it that we always look up to the caucasians, or even think that they are better looking?

back to the speed of stereotyping. ok, to prevent any misunderstanding, i think i shouldn't use racial stereotypes as examples. let me just use strangers. i think more often than not, i find even myself to summarise a friend that i know as nice. yea, like when someone asks me, "how do you find so-and-so?", without much doubt, i'll simply reply, "yea, he's a nice guy".

or maybe just walk along orchard road and you'll find yourself having different impressions about people with the way the dress. like how 'poser' will shoot up into my mind once we see anyone with a jason mraz cap. haha, i'm just a negative and horrible person. yea, something along that line, and i hope you get what i mean.

and it is quite scary, really; when have we actually learnt to make conclusions so quickly? the worse thing is, sometimes, we could be correct. read malcolm gladwell's blink. perhaps, it is just me, and i guess i'm still a confused kid. goodness, 22 year old kid.

yet, correct or not, i sort of feel that such actions, such abilities to come up with impressions so quickly is not really very healthy. yea, like i used to believe that ganeshan is just another bollywood gangster wannabe until i get to know him. aww, i miss him, and honestly, he is one of the most important reasons why i enjoyed cj track so so much. haha, and the xcountry drama too.

so i guess i'll do things a little bit slower now, like spock on star trek. come up with all the logical conclusions before thinking about doing something. at the very least, to prevent more people from screaming at me over the phone in the middle of the night too.

this is probably the 999th time i'm saying, but, i need to grow up soon. well at least by the time i get to meet linda chung, you know, so that i can attract her with my new found manly charm. like shooting eletricity into her eyes. hehe.

ah. now i'm bored again -_-
i need the boost juice soon!

smile :)

arsenal whanker!

2009-05-23T15:59:00.004+08:00

as arsene wenger continues to flirt with the thought of joining real madrid, i do wonder what will it be like if he really does. yes, i do agree that arsene wenger is a fantastic manager, and i still remember how his 1998 squad dismantled man utd (that marc overmars goal, remember?) before going onto an almost perfect run, pipping man utd to the premier league title during the second half of the 1997/98 season. that was also a bad year for most man utd fans though, with eric cantona leaving and david beckham sent off at the world cup right after that.

and then there's this season when thierry henry and co went unbeaten throughout, and even though i wasn't the least happy about it, i was impressed. i mean, yes, there were a few incidents that made me quite sore, like how robert pires could actually stick out his leg, dive and claim that it was a correct penalty decision. and how, of all players, sylvain wiltord have to score the winner to allow arsenal to lift the title right in front of man utd. but they were good, really. no, cancel last. they were fantastic.

which is why it sort of puzzles most people when you look at the arsenal of today. yet one thing that has not been taken away is their very sleek style of football, almost like the maserati i saw down the road on my way home last night. and it also helps when they have players with very good ball skills, and i am still a fan of andrei arshavin, although he looks like a grown up version of calvin from calvin and hobbes. that guy is bloody brilliant.

yet apart from arshavin, one thing that continues to shock many people is wenger's thrift towards spending on world class players. gone are the days when he broke transfer records after one another, bringing in players like bergkamp, henry and maybe even robert pires. true enough, he might have been compromised by the debts accumulated from the construction of the emirates (and i still find ashburton grove a much nicer name), but i thought he should be more aggressive towards his board of directors. look at it, arsenal is consistently qualifying for the champions league, and spending a little bit more could actually bring in even more as a result. think players like ronaldo and rooney, and imagine how much man utd has actually benefitted from the sales of their jersey replicas. well, i have a friend who bought the original jersey with the name 'veron' printed behind the back, firmly believed that veron will stay in man utd for a long time. i mean, yes, not ethically acceptable to most pple, but yea, i don't think wenger should be bad about it. after all, i cannot remember him making any lousy signings before; even anelka was spectaular.

so, it'll really be interesting if wenger does go to real madrid. at least, he'll not bug the board to sign cristiano ronaldo, and convince them that going youth is the best option. i'm not a madrid fan, and it does disgust at how their presidents can get elected by using player transfers as their main political tool. it's kind of a trend in spain, but yea, more often than not, they don't succeed. apart from florentino perez though; this guy seemed to have some sort of black magic. zidane, beckham, ronaldo and even figo forming the galacticos, wtf! and they were playing such fantastic football, like how they tore man utd apart some years back. anyway, imagine the combination, perez and wenger, and it could be like the good old days. wenger can just focus on bringing in the attacking football, while perez can just form another group of galacticos. fabregas, essien, ibrahimovic all in the same team. as an attacking football fan, yes, i salivate because football could then be an art. but as an anti-madrid fan, this could be nightmare.

now, think about el classico, or real madrid vs man utd. goodness. and then how arsenal could finally perish. hurhur. but i do wish to see liverpool crash and burn more than arsenal. because i just can't stand the irritating benitez! i'm just waiting for the next time man utd play liverpool man, and i'm looking forward to benitez's reaction when ronaldo score that 40 yard free kick against his team. sorry gerrard, you're a nice guy, but too bad for the wrong club.

smile :)

smile :)

2009-05-23T01:27:00.000+08:00

moving on :)

2009-05-21T21:40:00.006+08:00

starting work on tuesday! at this commercialized fruit juice stall near raffles mrt;boost juice. haha. amazed how people can actually market even fruit juice, and mark up the price so much. anyway, i'm supposedly entitled to one free drink everyday, but the thing is, i don't eat fruits, except apples. and even for apples, i only eat them cold. heh.

http://www.boostjuicebars.com

anyway, sorry to all the liverpool fans but i'm quite sick and tired of how liverpool is behaving at the moment, particularly rafa benitez. i mean, face it, the title race is over, man utd has won. is it really necessary to make comments like alex ferguson does not deserve to be congratulated or continue to gloat about how man utd were beaten 4-1 a couple of months back? oh i remember the date too, it was 14th March :( . but yes, i believe liverpool should just look to strengthen themselves first, starting with how an english defender can work with a spanish one. just shut up.

and i was wondering how is that there are people that actually say that alex ferguson is not a good manager. i must admit that more often than not, he relies on good assistants, like carlos queiroz and even steve mclaren. or how lucky he was in having those fantastic group of youngsters some years back, allowing him to mould the backbones of manchester united today. yet honestly, if you compare the work alex ferguson has done to most other managers, he is undisputedly second to none. why? because he is able to adapt to changes so damn quickly. think about all those different transitions, from the bryan robson age to the cantona era, the 1999 treble winning team and the current champions. true enough, he almost always have the luxury of time, but he never failed to make the most of it. and then let's compare how many players have came in and out of the liverpool squad since benitez took over. see the difference?

and i'm still quite amazed how fergie is able to groom cristiano ronaldo to the player he is today. i still remember the days when ronaldo was struggling to find the net, barely any resemblance to what he is like today. i think he sort of perfected the modern version of taichi, like how he can pamper ronaldo while making him perform at the same time, a very big contrast to the david beckham hairdryer days. really, it's his willingness to continuously transform in the ever-changing world that impresses me the most.

haha, and change reminds me of the benjamin button quote:

"I was thinking how nothing lasts, and what a shame that is."

something that i want to disagree with so much. but i guess i need to learn from fergie more than ever.

anyway, the only other manager i believe that is able to match fergie is non other than jose mourinho. yet sad to say, jose mourinho is really lousy when it comes to trading, but i believed if he can work with the current batch of youngsters at man utd, it might be good enough. i really wish to see mourinho replace fergie. at the very least, he might make some super ridiculous comments, leaving benitez stunned and confused, and shutting him up. after all, he is the special one, and man utd is a special football club.

now imagine drogba and ibrahimovic at man utd. double-edged swords man, haha! man utd rocks!

ah, of all the songs i listen to, i have to be curious with the lyrics about that david archuleta song. it's also quite astonishing how i can draw similarities to life with most songs. i'm such an emo freak.

anyway, things did get better after i've uploaded linda chung's face onto my desktop and handphone. she is so damn beautiful! almost like an angel! best part is, she was born in canada, same as kristin kreuk! haha. wth. at least she'll keep me alive until i'm sober enough. hurhur.

getting a pair of new boots tomorrow and then i'll be restarting my life. will be doing something that hopefully surprise than shock most people :)

wish me luck!

and don't forget to smile! :))

_______________________________

should be strong, moving on

i'm lovin' angels instead!

2009-05-20T20:57:00.000+08:00

life cycle :)

2009-05-20T13:16:00.001+08:00

yabba dabba doo, i am twenty two :D

2009-05-20T00:18:00.008+08:00

and then i'm one year older. but it's been quite an amazing day really, because i got to spend it with the people i love most. even the driving's instructor's nice today, just that he decided not to give me any birthday discounts :(

so i'll list down what i did in an almost perfect day.

1. i finally k-boxed last night! i have been waiting for it for so so long, and it feels so good to just be able to scream into the mic for 5 solid hours. and also the ian and teng's kukujiao joke!

2. driving lesson! barely confident to drive a car in an empty car park, my driving instructor actually brought me out to the main road! kind of freaked out a lot of drivers along the way. no wonder mr yeow didn't want to give me a discount.

3. sleep! and i slept my whole afternoon away. well, my body needs at least 10 hours to function properly, and it was not until my mother called me at 5 pm, i was laying flat on my bed, head on the bolster instead of the pillow. k-box and driving. deadly combination.

i had some wonderful dreams the past few nights though. except for the part when i saw i failed both my econs module. but yes, they were still wonderful.

4. dinner at novena square! a $40 seafood buffet with my mum, bro and his girlfriend! really, really sumptuous meal, and i could barely walk after that. crayfish, prawns, abalones, oysters etc etc. i lurve my mummy so much! she knows what i like best!

best part is, i sort of found a job through my bro's gf. similar to my starbucks dream, except that i might be selling fruit juice at vivo instead.

5. and my father brought back a swensen's ice cream cake for me to make my wishes over the candles. and then i got to play with the dry ice after that. heh

6. a lizard fell into the kettle while the water was boiling.

7. i feel good to be 22 :D especially with the countless birthday wishes! thank you all for making my day so damn wonderful!

yabba dabba doo, i am twenty two!! :D

friends are sunshine of life :)

2009-05-18T02:21:00.007+08:00

and i do wish that i'll be able to swing with you while watching the sunset.

farewell my first vietnamese friend :)

2009-05-17T00:12:00.004+08:00

farewell my first vietnamese friend. have fun :)

complicated vs complex

2009-05-14T00:55:00.002+08:00

someone was telling me this story a couple of hours ago:

Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a far away land, there lived a poor elderly nomad. He lived a long and happy life, but the time came when he was about to die. The poor, old man had three sons, and he wanted to distribute his belongings to them before he died. Among his possessions were 17 camels.

As his death grew close, he gathered his three sons around him to tell them what their inheritance would be.

He told his eldest son he was to get ½ of the camels.
He told his middle son he was to get 1/3 of the camels.
He told his youngest son he was to get 1/9 of the camels.

Then he died. The three sons were saddened and perplexed. They sincerely wanted to honor their father’s wishes, and they all wanted all of their inheritance. But how, they wondered, could they possibly divide 17 camels in accordance with their father’s wishes? How do you divide 17 camels in half, or by one/third, or one/ninth? It was impossible!

Then the youngest son remembered that out in the desert there lived a wise old man in a cave. He suggested they take their problem to him and let him solve it for them.

So, the next day they packed up their 17 camels and went to the cave where the wise old man lived. When they arrived, the old man welcomed them with open arms. That evening they all sat around the camp fire and the three boys told the old man their problem. How, they asked him, could they possibly honor their father’s last wish and divide the 17 camels in accordance with his direction? It was impossible!

The wise old man thought about their problem for a while, and after a long silence concluded that he could not help them. He told them they would have to solve this problem for themselves. However, the old man said he had a camel that he no longer needed and that he would be happy to give his camel to the boys if they wanted him.

The boys were happy to accept the additional camel. As they were preparing to leave the next day the eldest brother realized that now that they had 18 camels they could honor their father’s wishes.

The eldest son could now have ½ of the 18 camels = 9
The middle son could now have 1/3 of the camels = 6
And the youngest son could now have 1/9 of the camels = 2

Imagine their surprise when they divided up their inheritance and discovered that it came to 17 camels. They now had one extra camel. So they gave the wise old man his camel back which he accepted with a twinkle in his eye...

http://laanimalservices.blogspot.com/2006/06/17-camels.html

the morale of the story is that simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. yet, honestly speaking, i am still very puzzled by how the story can conclude like this, which of course fits in the point of ultimate sophistication; i'm honestly quite lost. i mean, it looks like very simple mathematics but until now, the whole story doesn't look logical to me at all. and i do wonder how am i going to survive eonometrics next sem.

yes, i agree, i do think too much. and that also explains how i'm still unable to really divide logic and emotions. and this is probably why i need to karaoke soon; i just need to sing my pseudo worries away!

smile :)
____________________________
anyway, thanks for the memories.

when i see you smile :)

2009-05-13T14:25:00.001+08:00

smile, always!

2009-05-13T00:05:00.002+08:00

ALWAYS

patterns

2009-05-11T21:47:00.003+08:00

i remember one of my physics teachers in outram secondary saying this, "mathematics is the study of patterns." and, at that point of time, being a typical 15 year old, i was shocked. almost like the mas selamat has escaped from the prison kind of shock. even until today, i sort of understood the logical point of view, yet it's something i do not want to agree with; it just makes everything so much more complicated, no?

however, i shall follow on the belief that "mathematics is the study of patterns", because i have sort of witnessed certain things that puzzled me quite a bit. and what i witnessed also proves the fact that if mathematics is the study of patterns, then mathematics is everything. or maybe you can make this statement biconditional, yea, the iff type of statements. anyway, i shall not complicate you further with my lack of knowledge in math and grammar; i'll go straight to the point.

first of all, hospital. yea, within one month, i came across 4 people that ended up hospitalised. my grandma tripped and fell at home, and broke her thigh bone. fiona had swollen lymph nodes. yong teng's mom broke her fingers when the door slammed on them. ian's grandfather also tripped and cracked his skull.

second, computers. within a couple of weeks, 2 computers crashed. first, it was my laptop, which could be a blessing in disguise because it was during the exam period. and then my desktop got fried today. my father was theorizing about how it could be caused by a super duper unlucky cockroach. like how somehow that cockroach could find itself part of a circuit that was not meant to be there, hence short circuit. anyway, that's not the point, but it's quite amazing how i can lose my main source of entertainment within a couple of weeks.

too much for coincidence eh?

morbit

2009-05-08T00:21:00.002+08:00

and i do miss my laptop; it was real heartbreak when my brother told me that even if i have to send it for repair, there's a 50% chance that it might not work. ahh. god. it's the summer break and there's nothing for me to play; the only thing i'm able to use right now is a world war 2 computer my father uses to print his invoices. which also explains the difference between my dad and i; he's a decent man that does not do anything too complicated, or, ridiculous, with his computer, and life. while i, tends to be a little over adventurous, and more often than not, resulting in disastrous complications. sunflower. wtf.

anyway, since there is nothing more interesting more me to do right now- i have no football channel and axn's playing some real stupid shows- i shall go back to my primitive source of entertainment. writing, or rather typing. well at least it kept me alive during the exams- a wonderful outlet for me to write away my sorrows during the jon tan-defined most emo period of anyone's life. yea. nus should do away with exams, and include more presentations. at least it's something i'm more confident of, talk cock.

i was having this funny random thought during shower just now. and yes, it's quite amazing how much inspiration you can get when you start wetting your, even though what i'm gonna say is not inspirational at all. haha. ok, i was having this thought that i should actually record down all my passwords and pin number somewhere so in case anything happens, my facebook account will not be lost. but there are 2 things that constantly prevent me to do so, and i shall explain.

number one, i am overly superstitious. not the dua beh gong kind of superstitions, while i am neither a muslim or a christian. but that happens with people without religion you know, so the next time someone tells you he is an atheist, watch out. he might just have some funny habits like burst out of nowhere to give you a sunflower. heh. anyway, just to clarify, i believe in god and football, just not religions la. long story, so another time. as i was saying, i was very superstitious. by writing down the passwords and pin numbers, it is like giving myself a reason to die you know. hahaha. i mean, why should i prepare to die? so, in order to not give myself any suicidal thoughts (well, i can be especially emo, at times- but don't worry, i'm one of those that cover my ears and eyes during horror movies. so yea, i'm probably equally afraid to do anything stupid to myself. heh), i shall not do so (i think you can detect the irony here). anyway, if something really happens, there could be a fan page instead of my stupid accounts right? right good friends?

number 2, because i heard of a friend's friend who lost a few thousand bucks when both his handphone and wallet got stolen. no la, there wasn't that much of money inside his wallet at that time; it just happened that he stored his atm pin number on his handphone. being as paranoid as i always am, you'll not be able to literally find my passwords unless you're sylar, which is also under the 'just-in-case something happens' category because i am no claire bear.

so yes, i also found out after shower that i'm cynical, superstitious and paranoid. and almost crazy as well. maybe i do need a religion.

still, smile :)

lazy day

2009-05-07T14:07:00.002+08:00

and now, i'm no longer 'fresh' anymore; last day of school yesterday. well i did someday ridiculously ridiculous, and i'd probably remember that day for a long time to come. ah. i still cannot believe myself, still shrieking and clutching my face every single time i think about it. hahahahaha. when i reached home yesterday afternoon, i was jumping up and down, screaming and using my bolster to whack my pillows for at least half an hour. yea, it's the ultimate omg feeling. hahaha. goodness.

anyway, it's already 2pm now and i'm still stuck at home! ahh. not that there are many things i'd want to do anyway. it feels real good when you're able to just drag yourself around the house, and just do nothing. yea, 'nua'. it's been a long time since i feel this way though. in fact, even up till last night, i was having those insecurities that i shouldn't be doing nothing- there should be something for me to revise right? post-exam syndrome.

and the paper yesterday was plain horrible. half an hour into the paper, i already had the thought of giving up. i wanted to just stand up and walk away. so tempted. luckily i did not because at least i managed to complete 2 half questions. that's like 1/5 and i cannot guarantee that they are correct. ahh. the only thing i wish for right now is that everyone else feels the same way, and so far so good. haha. competition makes you evil.

barcelona has beated chelsea! and that's after the incredible, really incredible, essien strike. i feel for chelsea though, even though i never liked them especially after abramovich took over. but i belief it's just another lesson learnt for being complacent; leading against a 10-men barcelona, and conceded at the death. deserve to get kicked up. i saw ashley cole's expression after iniesta's strike went in, and yea, i can understand how pek chek he must have felt. like how i was 0.13s to the 4 by 100m medal in 2004.

still, i'm salivating over the the fact that man utd will be playing barcelona! cristiano ronaldo vs lionel messi. paul scholes up against xavi. hopefully, man utd will triumph. and then we can sing to the rest of the world that they are the best team ever. and continue to laugh at liverpool for their pretentious ambitions. ahh. i'm so veering towards the dark side.

enough writing. i'll continue to 'nua' away my rest of the day. good times don't last long, so i shall cherish every second of it.

smile :)

goodness me

2009-05-06T20:08:00.002+08:00

oh gosh. i am such a dork. really. but after shower, felt so much better.

so i shall explain what stupid things i did this afternoon. really really stupid. but i guess it's really an amazing lesson learnt: the fine line between bravery and stupidity. haha. but i'm so glad that i did it anyway; now i'll have some amazing stories to tell my grandchildren.

oh well, i tried to say hi to a very pretty girl i saw in class. last day in school today, so i thought, what's there to lose. actually, almost everything. but i think i scared her more than i leave any impressions. god. what was i thinking?

there wasn't any intentions to ask her out on a date or anything like that. just a simple hi. honestly, i saw it more as a personal challenge. haha. wth. and that simple hi actually made her burst towards the bus stop; and i looked so ridiculously stupid. omg. really really stupid. well. what's done is done, and even after spending 3 months inside einstein's universe- gek 1508, nah, i still do not know how to build a time machine.

after all, we only regret what we didn't do right?

and summer! now for my starbucks dream! i wonder if they're still hiring though.

Things to do:
1. driving license
2. starbucks
3. de diamonds
4. shaping myself up
5. surprise! :)

ah. don't worry, i'll never fall for someone i do not know. almost like a stepping stone to grow up i guess. so, i guess the only way's up now, right :))

bvslidabflivbsdifsbfd

2009-05-06T18:22:00.000+08:00

AHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I AM CLUTCHING ONTO MY FACE EVERY FUCKING FIVE MINUTES!!!! OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG!!!???

HOW COULD I DO SOMETHING SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS?! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!~!

ah. i really need a punching RIGHT NOW!!!!! AHHHHH

smile, smile, smile~

2009-05-05T10:21:00.000+08:00

ecstans

2009-05-04T08:00:00.000+08:00

screw you serene tan; how can you close ivle right at this moment?!

bfsbkjvbvkjzbdfz

happy thoughts

2009-05-03T00:38:00.003+08:00

and i swear i'm going to be less emo man; i woke up from my 15mins nap thinking, wtf is wrong with me man? the battle between my logic and my emotions is getting out of hand!

grow up, grow up and happy thoughts. funny how i've been preaching that all the time and not do it myself. i should really wear my mr happy shirt on someone else. but it's quite amazing how i could actually entertain myself- by laughing at how silly and ridiculous i can be all the time.

ah. back to the push-ups, and another day of battle against macro economics. i can't wait for the end of exams- de diamonds are waiting! and my starbucks dream. heh.

smile :)
_____________________________
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
-Woody Allen

300

2009-05-02T11:39:00.006+08:00

THIS IS SPARTA!!!

and my 300th post. it'll be surprising if this space has 300 views a year though. and neither do i believe that at 22, i am still blogging. or rather, whining. heh. must be the exams. jon tan was telling me how people can get so fucking emo during this period because they feel very lonely. i couldn't agree more.

"sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical."
-shape of my heart, backstreet boys

i wonder if they still call themselves backstreet BOYS though. yet, this sort of reminds me how fast time flies. good news, though, is that you're able to be the pilot, according to the main character in cashback. ah me and my obsession with quotes.

and happy birthday david beckham! my boyhood hero! i have to say that this guy is an incredible footballer, and how i wished to be like him when i was 10. i mean, i probably still which to be like him now, but it's less probable. heh. i still remember how i started to part my hair right in the middle after smacking on those blobs of gel. and my hair would be so damn fucking stiff, that if you attempt to twist it, it might break. but not that i would allow you to touch my hair anyway. oh, i also remembered how i tried to imitate him on the football courts, swinging my arms 180 degrees, bending my back all the way that i was almost lying on the ground and trying to use my instep to make the perfect spin. once, i bent so much that i couldn't walk properly for the next couple of weeks; yea i sprained my back. and that was when i was 10. i continue to feel the after effects every now and then, and i do wonder how am i going to survive when i'm 70.

and he epitomises passion, hard work and dedication. i don't think that there are many footballers that are able to take the numerous falls he had. and even right from the start, he is not considered as the most talented, and even his free kicks were as a result of those numerous practices when he was kid back in his school's backyard. but if there's one thing that god blessed him with, it must be that he has the heart of a lion. when he was 14, he smuggled into a fire station just to play football against people twice his age. and how he's able to fool around with such a bitchy wife shows that this guy is really brave eh. but look at his achievements: how he was able to bounce from the world cup red card to win the champions league; how he was able to hold his nerves to score that 93rd minute free kick against greece; how he was able to push real madrid towards the la liga despite being dropped at the start of the season. i really respect his dedication and professionalism for that- he never gave up; how he was willing to buy out his contract just so he can enjoy the game he love most.

however, i have to agree that he is the male version of a bimbo. just read the following:

my parents have been there for me, since i was 7.

alex ferguson is the best manager i've ever had at this level. well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. but he's the best manager I've ever had.

i definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but i don't know into what religion yet.

oh, and read this as well
http://blog.trutv.com/dumb_as_a_blog/2009/04/david-beckhams-tattoos-and-donts.html

amazing stuff. now you wonder why i grew up doing those stupid things, making those ridiculous quotes as well. in the footsteps of my boyhood hero. heh.

alright, enough about backham. i shall at least be the pilot for my macro paper on monday. yesterday was such a productive, and hopefully, today will be the same again. hopefully, there's multiplier effect towards my grade too. wish me luck :)

Smile :)

_____________________

“Before you, my life was like a moonless night, very dark, but there were stars — points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.”

confirm get lost :D

2009-04-30T16:45:00.001+08:00

3rd Anniversary

2009-04-30T10:58:00.007+08:00

i haven't clubbed for 3 years! woohoo. but i guess it sort of reflects how interesting my life has been. heh. yet, the irony is, i enjoyed the last time i went to the club. it was at dx0 with a real big group of friends, getting super high with the seemingly never-ending refills of alcohol. aww. i guess i do miss clubbing. and i found out last night that i also miss alcohol. hurhur.

i miss getting the dipsy feeling, when i'll start to be unusually happy, and behave strangely. i remember how i lost 30 over bucks when a bunch of us decided to test how composed we can stay under the influence of alcohol. and it was during my 18th birthday. haha. luckily i did not stay after i lost those 30 bucks though; it could have been 300 if i just stayed another half an hour. oh, because i had training the next day.

in fact, i was so close to being drunk that night. how so? i puked as soon as i reached home. haha. luckily though, is my parents were soundly asleep as it was already 3am? yea. and i also remember how i had to train the following morning at 9. i had so much difficulty just to hug the curves for the 150m intervals. and it felt so damn bloody tough and i believe that it was alcohol bursting out of my skins than perspiration. haha. shit. i missed doing those crazy things.

and i miss the feeling of being genuinely happy i guess. it seems with alcohol, you can really forget all the responsibilities, all the unhappiness, and just be silly. you can stop caring how others might react, because you know that with alcohol (most of the time), everything can be forgiven. it does help that i'm the happy alcoholic though. i have friends that can get dangerously-emo and would have slitted their wrists if no one's around. ah but it's never safe to be completely controlled by alcohol. one christmas, in a game of scissors-paper-stones (yea you can really play anything with alcohol), i stood up on the chair just to challenge the opponent, and not knowing that i was just next to the window. haha. i think it shocked everyone there, but after that, i went to wash my face. ahh.

oh and happy birthday the angie and zhen yang too! hahaa. it was sajeev that reminded it was both your birthdays 3 years ago when he was 90% drunk at dxo. yea i bumped into him there.

i'm so gonna get wasted one of these days during summer. hurhur.

anyway, my exam finally started. mkt1003! probably the easiest paper to study- all textbook based. the paper wasn't too bad, even though it wasn't too good either. so it's really down to luck for me. i think i did relatively well for the CAs, so i'll have to wait and see if the markers like my answers. hopefully they do, because i have my last question wrong -_-

and i still wish the be the sunshine of your life, whatever happens. and i think i should stop scaring you with my over-eagerness. ahh. smile :)

football celebration

2009-04-29T12:13:00.002+08:00

break

2009-04-29T00:12:00.003+08:00

phew. the adrenalin rush has finally subsided and i'm feeling less nutty now. the past 24 hours were real insane, but i'm real happy that i was able to give fiona a reason, even the slightest one, to be happy. but now, there's the mkt paper looming, and i'm really not looking forward to it. especially because i was trying the quiz prof lau posted on ivle, and i got 13/25. and that was with a bit of help from my notes. not good at all.

anyway, there was a rather amusing twist to what happened though. i started off with the first 10 questions, and guess what, i got 9 of them correct! i thought i was on my way. and then came the bombshell. i got my next 5 questions wrong. wtf. knnbccb. tmd. nnh. oasivgnuioabguibsubvg. amazing right.

and that means that i shouldn't even be here now. but ldmr is setting in -_- ; and i don't want to hate marketing- it is my favourite module this sem. actually it's becoming it was now. ahhh. so much stuff to memorize! if i can forget where i am in the shopping centres all the time- yes my fantastic navigation skills, memorizing 9 chapters of stuff is plain crazy! ahhhhhhhhhhh. and i'm running on pentium 1 now. ahhh.

ok. enough whining. and i do agree that blogging does make me feminine. but don't worry la. i'll never turn gay. too many pretty girls around for me to do so. and that makes me motivated to squeeze out my pacs all over again. oh and maybe i can finally get 8! and i'll need to paste cristiano's ronaldo posters all around my house for motivation man. honestly, i still cannot believe that he's such a monster. still shocked. but i shall start to bring out the more masculine side of me. i think it's finally time for me to grow up.

and so, the supermodel hot date dream is not too far awayyyy.....

no la, i still prefer pretty princesses :)

mug mug.

smile :)

warm up

2009-04-28T11:44:00.005+08:00

wow. i'm in school early. and that allows me to warm up a little; writing makes me fall in love with words, and i'll be facing chucks of them soon. so i shall continue from where i ended last night.

Power Ranger!

and i bought fiona a power ranger to cheer her up. hopefully it works la, but jon tan and huishan find that the lamest thing to do. maybe should have gotten her polly pocket or something. oh do they still sell them these days?

anyway, back to me and my power ranger dream :D

Tommy Ng Se Wei. not bad right. well at least in my own imagination, i get to play with the green ranger flute, the white tiger blade and i'll get to kiss the hottest chick in the show. before david beckham, i really worshipped him. but then again, when i looked back at some of the power ranger clips right now, i am totally 'wtf-ed'. how is it that running sideways, like a crab, can help you move faster?! i shall that on tv though, and i couldn't stop laughing for half an hour. good exercise though, especially with the fats i'm accumulating these days.

oh and good news! i have managed not to eat supper for the past 3 days! and i am really amazed how i actually didn't feel hungry at all, although last night was an exception- i was busily making the happy sunflower. i thought of buying one though but the flower shops closed last night when i finally stopped mugging. took a couple of photos of the sunflower but couldn't upload it up here because i have no cable to my phone. i hope she likes it though; it's the first flower i've given to anyone, although it's not exactly a real flower. but i did buy chocolate for a primary school friend before :)

oh wait, just to clarify, as of this morning, i'm not looking for the 'together forever' possibilities anymore, or just yet, even it does remain romantic. i'm really glad that we are at least talking again and the only thing i wish to see right now is fiona smiling. after all, i've never been in good control of my emotions, and many of my crushes turned out to be people who i don't believe i can spend time with for the 'rest-of-our-lives'. things are good right now, and especially since it is still the exam period, let's not change it alright?

sounds super politically correct huh? haha. it's really true la. i'm 22 soon, and i think i should look at relationships less of the emo-forbidden-love versions. it's nothing wrong to like someone right? it's a wonderful feeling, if you genuinely do, because all you want to do is to make him/her happy. and that, i believe, is happiness, much more than the 'must-be-together' ideology. besides, my monetary resources are fast running out to. and by the end of the exams, i probably have to beg to feed myself. ah not so serious la. after exams, i could officially begin both my starbucks and my diamond adventures! so damn exciting.

oh, and i plan to train up man. at least buff up a little, and ideally, like cristiano ronaldo. haha. no la, i think that will take a lot of hard work, and i doubt i'll have much 'hard work' left after exams. well, the fact that i'm blogging now does tell you that i have given up on 'A's long ago eh? haha. shit. i'm such a loser.

alright, enough said. work work. mug mug!

living a dream

2009-04-28T01:00:00.002+08:00

congratulations to eng teck! for winning his first singing competition. i thought he thoroughly deserve it, for the efforts he put in all these years. really, really, really bravo. it made me think about what eng teck said a few months ago though. he was whining about how it is almost impossible to follow a real purpose in life in Singapore, especially with all the academic and monetary expectations. yet, honestly, i always thought that he was the bravest kid around, not afraid to do what he believes in, like performing on a stage. and i'm so super glad that he is on his way. i'll be the first to buy his album :)

which also made me think, what was my ambition? I didn't want to become a doctor, a lawyer or dentist. And by the time i enter primary school, i've given up wanting to become a police man in singapore; too little excitement. omg, how sad was it, a kid with no ambition. wtf.

OH YES. and that explains my power ranger craze. i wanted to be a super hero! i wanted to be the white ranger, and i even named myself Tommy :D no joke! hahahah. Tommy Ng Se Wei. WTF. ehh but seriously, that was my ambition la. to become a power ranger!!! QUICK ZORDON! SUMMON ME! i am tall, dark and handsome! and i will major in martial arts if you do hire me as a power ranger. $10/hour enough. but i'm not free on sundays because i need to play football. can can?? i will change all my ringtones to the one you send too. no more silent mode. even during exams. 100% commitment!

shit. it's 1:44am. i'm supposed to wake up early tmr! later!

Smile:)

full body kit

2009-04-26T23:20:00.009+08:00

i saw something that shocked the hell out of me today.

look at those wings! omfg! just a few years back, i was wondering how this guy could actually play football so well. how he's able to dribble at such amazing speed. how he's able to make those powerful shots. and yes, how he's able to make those leaps for the headers. because i used to think that he is just another skinny kid fighting against those giants. david vs goliath. until this picture. wtf. now i know why i am nowhere close to a professional football player.

vs

the deadly combination of fats and skin -_- low morale! worse is, this picture was taken during one of my fitter times, when i was still in the army. i'll never be cristiano ronaldo :(

not even half -_-

therefore, i really need to up my 40 push ups every morning from tmr onwards.

ah. i'm just too bored.

oh oh, i found this super cool site.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/9-ways-to-get-happy-in-the-next-30-minutes-444895/

Smile :))

playlist

2009-04-26T20:07:00.000+08:00

jaychou

my 3 best friends

2009-04-26T00:41:00.002+08:00

in order not to fall asleep every single time i open the textbooks, i have found 3 bffs.

1. youtube

they have all the super retro cartoon intro themes. they have most of the football highlights, and bloopers. they have my favourite japanese pranks. they have ninja warrior. they have all the mtvs. they even have karaokes.

technically, not 'they' though, but yes, youtube has everything.

2. imeem

after sometime, you do get sick of your personal playlist no? and if you have to change, you have to download, or rip off from the cds you buy eh? waste time and money.

with imeem, i'm even able to create a whole playlist of pinoy songs! honestly, pinoy songs are fucking awesome. first, because i do not understand what they are singing, i will not sing along, therefore able to focus on what i am studying. second, they have incredible vocals! yes, almost the mariah carey, david cook level. go listen!!

3. facebook

not exactly a bff la. i'm quite sick of it actually, just that i'll subconsciously kee facebook.com in everytime i on an explorer. other than looking at what quizzes my friends are doing, there isn't really much to do. was tempted to delete my account quite a few times, but just couldn't bare with the 700+ friends i've collected in the last couple of years. heh.

so, you can tell what a nerd i am. in fact, even the china guy, which seems to be permanently stuck in the svu lab at engine fac computing centre, has a more interesting hobby than me: poker. oh no, i won't even classify myself as a nerd; i don't even study that much, only forced by circumstances -_-

sounds super xiao ji right? no la, don't worry, i have a new found hobby, or rather purpose. that is to find the green ranger flute tune as my sms ringtone! it's so damn fucking super cool la. when i heard that on youtube last night, i just melted, almost like i've bumped into some lover in my past life. but wtf man i tell you. 100% emotional and nothing logical. hahaha.

anyway, it's yongteng's birthday today, so wish him yea? no la, actually it has passed, by roughly one and a half hours. but that's quite though, to have to go through your birthday during exams. then again, not like he doesn't enjoy mugging; he's totally in that kind of mode since school started. he's always doing school work! even during those days i go to his place to watch football.

and talking about birthdays, i recalled something quite amusing that happened when i was in primary 1, or is it pri 1? yea pri 1. still remember it was that old english teacher who wore the super big glasses. she's a real nice lady, but she did something super horrible to me- she caned me on my birthday! well, as a seven year old, birthday boy is king yea? no la i didn't cry; i was more shocked though, because all i did was pass some of my good friends biscuits. yea, the give instead of receive birthday presents culture when we were younger. that's why i said birthday boys/girls are kings! like how the government reward us with gst rebates. ah, out of point. so yea, i was passing these biscuits to my friends as we were walking towards the front of the class to sit down for lessons. yea, those days we were still sitting on the grounds to listen to the teachers. i miss those cosiness though. so, as we sat down, we saw our english teacher walking furiously towards us with a cane, and before i could even blink, *whip*. shocked, stunned and speechless.

but she's a nice teacher la, coz i remember i cried in her class because i didn't know how to do the spelling test. hahaha. i memorised all the words that she gave and wrote them all down as soon as she said the spelling test begins. yea, you probably can tell how shock i was when she was reading out the words one by one. yea this time round i cried la. hahaha. she was doubly shock though, so woohoo! an eye for an eye!

oh man, can't explain why i'm getting so sentimental nowadays.

and stay super super happy ok? smiles are the best cures for all illness, better than apples :):)

anyway, leave a msg if u did drop by la. makes this place more alive. and i have a new tagoard! hopefully no more spammers.

Smile :)

Green Ranger!

2009-04-25T01:38:00.002+08:00

与你聊不完的曾经

2009-04-24T11:44:00.003+08:00

一起长大的约定
那样真心
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情还是错过的爱情

hands off fm

2009-04-23T23:35:00.007+08:00

hi. english exam tomorrow so i'm here to warm up a little. honestly, it's really sad that this sem's ending so soon.

anyway, just a while ago, i was wondering if anyone i know is still blogging. other than the few blogshops that some of my friends set up (and sad to say, i've never really visited them), and a couple of those that continues to find somewhere to get emotional, there isn't really anyone that i can think of. really strange because just a couple of years back, so many of us were busily linking our personal webpages to one another's. probably a reflection of how quickly time has changed, and the the advent of facebook- the mirc to msn phenomena. honestly, i'd be surprise if anyone's reading this.

in fact, i was contemplating whether to continue blogging. first, it seems like a time-wasting activity; shouldn't i be using this time to study for my upcoming papers (yes- the prepare-for-english-paper-tmr is an excuse)? second, i'm beginning to feel like a sissy because i don't think there is any other guy i know that is still blogging today. but after realising that no one actually visits this page, and my countless lessons on 'i-should-not-care-what-others-say-to-do-what-i-feel-is-right', i decided that i should not abandon this old friend. ooo. and i'm getting sentimental about the days when i could enjoy writing about my everyday lives, even though i tried to keep it as politically correct as possible. yea, the whole image issue- those who blog would probably want to be known as the coolest than the most honest. oh and even the poems i wrote. classic.

so, where should i begin?

my handphone bill exploded. after sending a couple of 8-smses long text messages, yes, i was expecting this. not my mum though- she was shocked. just a couple of months ago, my text messages averaged at 300/mth, and just last month, it was 960. coupled with the gprs services that i finally learnt how to use, mummy almost fainted. the bill added up to about $60, still not that bad though, as compared to the last time my bill exploded, when i was in secondary 2. if i did remember correctly, sms figures were 1200+ and the bill added up to $120? yea somewhere there. don't worry, i'm not looking to break that record.

oh, i've also decided that i will work at starbucks during the holidays, of course, only if they want to hire. can't believe i am actually looking forward to serving coffees to customers and overcharging them. but it's looking like a fun experience. haha. yes, i'm weird and childhood deprived. blame football manager, i just spent 10 hours on it this evening.

and man utd won last night :))

anyway, something that was on my mind for the past couple of weeks...

my love affair with sex and violence

i started thinking about this a few days back on my way to the game between cjc and acjc. just wondering how is it that, as much as sex and violence seem to be the societal taboo, they can remain the most attractive? let's explore it from an individual point of view.

sex. not something that i can relate to completely, because sad to say, i'm still a virgin. but i think i'll enjoy sex a lot, because i do find my head turning when someone really sexy walk past. anyway, according to mkt1003, and maslow's hierachy of needs, sex is fundamental, like food. it is something innate, something you cannot live without. cool.

and then i realised that there is an even more complex question- how is sex a taboo? how is it not conservative not to talk about sex? i find this really difficult to comprehend because other than on FHMs, i really don't find many people talking about it. in fact, more often than not, people (or at least those i know) seem to want to avoid this topic at all cost. and i do find myself blushing if people do ask me about boobs, dicks and vaginas, especially females.

so now you know why Singapore is facing ageing population eh? and then i was wondering how the ntu 'emperor' sex story is a joke. weird.

next, violence. something even more trivial, because i cannot even explain how people are so attracted to it- there's nothing 'maslow' about it. you do see people flocking to watch gore movies no? people queing at the arcades to play street fighter. the fact that boxing is still a professional sport. people buying tickets to watch the contendor. jackie chan movies. bla bla bla.

funny really, but i do find the *bish* sound quite endearing. haha what a word to use. of course, apart from the fact that you are at the end of that *bish*. but it does touch on something innate no? maybe i'm weird la, but you have to agree with me that you using Ryu to punch Akumi is quite addictive ya? or maybe how you're able to fire off your MP5 at the heads of your enemies makes you jump for joy? along that line.

But yea, not much explanation. the only one that i can think of is the survival-of-the-fittest argument, something like we are built to kill. after all, we do eat meat, and the only fruit i dare to eat today is the apple, no joke. anyway, other than this explanation, there is nothing much i can think of.

___________

i am so going to fail my english essay tomorrow; i'm writing worse than a secondary school kid! pray for me.

Off.

signs :)

2009-04-22T17:35:00.004+08:00

warzone

2009-04-21T13:01:00.008+08:00

breakfast

warzone

the happiest bus ride ever!

2009-04-06T18:43:00.002+08:00

oh man. what a delightful day :D

first, i woke up this morning to find out that federico macheda has scored the winning goal for man utd. not that i'm kiko's fan, but i'm just so happy to see man utd getting back to their winning ways. happier because when i last check soccernet before i slept, aston villa just equalised and the way the online commentator put things didn't seem the most encouraging. what a way to start the day :)

and then i got back my individual assignment for mkt1003. and surprise surprise, A-! haha! my first ever distinction for any assignment. honestly, it came as a shock initially because i was declaring how poorly i thought i did. honestly, the first 15 mins were the most awkward, but FUCK IT MAN! i have the right to be smiling yea? haha ehh first ever distinction lehhh..let's just hope that i do not waste it.

so right after mkt tutorial, there was the mkt lecture, which as usual, wasn't the most exciting. and right after that, i actually went to study for my upcoming test, although i must admit i gave up after half an hour. AND GUESS WHAT? the test was never supposed to be on today!! hahahahahaha! omg. i was quite upset at first, but after realising that i could have failed so badly had the test been on today, yes, happier! and the next 1 and a half hours were my most productive einstein's lecture ever.

and finally, the best ride. haha. no, there's no hot chicks. it was just something that i finally decided to do that made my day. i deleted all my smses, which means that i am finally moving on. how ridiculous have i been in the past few months, and i'm so glad that i am over it. well, i'm not denying the fact that things can come back and haunt me again, but i feel that i'm strong enough to handle them :) really.

oh, anyway, i think i broke the hi score for 'super breakout!' on my handphone. woot!

small little things. but i'm so damn happy that i'm happy again :)

time is relative

2009-03-21T20:31:00.003+08:00

time flies, yet i was unaware of it. and suddenly (at least to me), it is april 2009. and i just wish i have been more prepared for it.

yes, hello everyone. it's been a long long time. and by now, i'm expecting very few people reading my blog because of the bad grammar and the lack of updates- so long since i last blog that my chat box has died. argh. this is good news though, because i probably can be less politically correct.

so what has happened in this past couple of months? as usual, constantly procrastinating, constantly lazing around, and probably constantly hiding from the reality. but it's not all bad. something wonderful also happened. i had a crush on a friend, so yes, i am NOT gay! then again, things didn't really work out; i scored a lot of own goals along the way. oh i'm not really that hopeful now, and things are just piling up by the minute. and suddenly, again, life sucks.

but don't worry. i'm still happy (except that i still regret screwing things up -_- now someone find me a supermodel girlfriend!). and i am happy that i am happy as well. and suddenly, i ran out of things to write.

till next time, have fun :)

day 13

2009-01-14T01:45:00.003+08:00

and guess what happened today.

i got off my father's van at 1.45.
spent the next 5 minutes searching for lt 9.
saw matthew yong inside, first time i saw him in 10 thousand years.
at 1.55, matthew started wondering why isn't anyone preparing for the lesson.
5 more mins went by.

"hey guys, do you know that the lecture is cancelled? there is a noticed pasted at the back of the lecture theatre."

bravo.

day 12 : first day

2009-01-13T02:10:00.002+08:00

and the first day of school went pass quicker than i expected. yet somehow, the 4 hours of lecture seemed more tiring than the 12 hours at the stalls.

something is really wrong with my body now..

day 11

2009-01-12T01:22:00.000+08:00

and it's going to be the first day of school again.

day 10

2009-01-11T03:07:00.001+08:00

the good

successfully bidded for all my modules

the bad

food poisoned

day 9

2009-01-10T02:43:00.001+08:00

by Yun Wong Li

the smokers pov.

if one starts smoking for the sake of joining the crowd, or something along that line, i would say it's pretty stupid. a roll of dried grass is far from cool & fashionble.

personally, i started because i had a job that sometimes required me to work 18hrs shifts & a cigarette perks me up. a friend of mine smokes ONLY when he's agitated or stressed to calm himself down. most of the time, he can go on for days without smoking. how's that for an addiction? these are 'advantages' that only we can & will experience.

just like how a non-drinker will never understand the fruity taste of wines, they may even scorn at you by saying if they wanna taste fruits, they can simply eat fruits, you can never accurately portray something you even don't know of.

i will place cigarettes more along the lines of alcohol & coffe, rather than heroin & estcasy. the latter is highly addictive & intoxicates you to the extent that you practically loses yourself & you may end up doing extreme things to hurt yourself & others, which is more likely to be the motivation for government to ban them, while things like coffee & cigarettes are more of stimulants. if you don't abuse them & become addicted, you can do without them.

caffeine is a drug too, & alcohol will definately cause plenty of harm to your body if consumed too regularly in large amounts. we have a huge number of people getting into accidents or dying because of alcohol abuse. plus, on top of that, we have people who are getting abused by the alcohol abusers too. and the only reason i can think of as to why there are anti-smoking campaigns but no anti-drinking or coffee campaigns is because WE SHARE AIR.

and obviously, that does not improve lives of people around me. sorry about that. but then again, i think one car produces more toxic gases than my pack of cigarettes??

shall we ban cars now? or force that poor delivery man who earns only enough for basic commodities to change his van to a half a million dollar hybrid? (of course, this is a generalized statement, but you get what i mean.)

moving on,
'don't mind' does not entirely equals to a weak moral stand.

if i were a parent, i don't mind, but i'll definitely advice my kids against smoking, along with drinking both alcohol & coffee. reasons?
- their clothes will stink, & it's not my pleasure to wash it for them.
- all three are almost equally detrimental to the user's health, if abused, with coffee at the lowest scale.
- while i understand the harms, there is no guarantee that even after educating my kids on the horrible side effects, my kids will be sensible enough to consume them moderately. and the last thing i want is a sick kid, or a kid in rehab.

however, if my kids show me that they are willing to wash their own clothes & they are disciplined & smart enough to not abuse any of the above, i will say sure, go ahead.

i'm a strong believer in freedom of choice. afterall, to each his own. what maybe deemed as good for you, may not even be half as appealing in another's eyes.

of course, i was once a non-smoker & i can understand a non-smoker's woes. but direct them only at the inconsiderate & selfish. because there are some of us here who do respect a non-smoker's need for 'fresh air' & the law of no littering.

no prizes for guessing why i put inverted commas for fresh air.

and seriously, if the government can think of stuff like casinos, yeah i'm wondering about the weed too...

Updated 22 hours ago - Add Comment - 4 Comments - Report Note

Se Wei Ng at 12:35pm January 9

oh hi again:):)

and i guess there's some logic behind your argument. oh, and i'm also a strong believer in freedom of choice. who isn't?

but i would like to know what are the benefits of smoking? of course, other than perking yourself up?

cheers :):)

Jerome Chan at 6:24pm January 9

much more logical then ur arguement hur. im refering to se wei :D

Yun Wong Li at 2:02am January 10

same question back at you, what are the benefits of alcohol & coffee? pretty much along the same lines aren't they? so why the different treatments? :))

Yun Wong Li at 2:05am January 10

Jerome: thanks for the positive reaction. lol.

________________

by Jerome Chan

non smokers smts do piss me off, period.

yes smoking is bad for health, and if u are gonna be sucha strong advocator of good health, pls be aware that as much as smoking causes respiratory related diseases, alcohol causes liver poisoning, eating fish causes mercury poisoning, meat products causes hypertension and high cholesterol levels, so on and so forth. and pls if u are gonna be sucha health conscious, and freak in the presence of cigarette smoke, dont hold fucking double standard and continue sipping ur graveyard in zouk, and your fishhead curry at kopidiams.

yes, second hand smoke said to be worse then first hand, and why should ur health suffer when someone else lights up next to you, think again, DO U FUCKING RETARD PUT UR NOSE RIGHT ABOVE THE BURNING AMBER, AND SUCK IN THE SAME AMOUNT OF SMOKE AS THE SMOKER WHEN HE/SHE INHALES, FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF THE STICK?

pls, you only take a fucking small whiff of second hand smoke when u briskly walk pass the smoker lighting up near to you.

(assuming that smoke diffuses in a perfect sphere, I FUCKING SAID, ASSUMING, and your nose, as sensitive as it can be, breathe in air from a surface area of 1 metre square, and that u are standing at 5 meters away from the smoker,
the smoke will cover a surface area of 4 X PI X 5 X 5 metre sq, which is 314metres sq, assuming you can breathe in air from a surface of 1 metre square, what you are breathing in is only 1/314 of the original amount which has diffused away from the cigarette source, at 5 metres away!!! will that cause an immediate formation on tar on in ur lungs, or miscarriage, or impotency??)

okay fine, cigarette smoke causes air pollution.
so perhaps you are gonna get a cottage on the peak of the alps? away from all that exhaust fumes that your motor car, the bus u take, the taxi u flag down, produces. i dont know about the toxic pollutants which exhaust fumes produces as compared to cigarette smoke, but with that much motor cars in singapore, please tell me that all the exhaust fumes produced is less polluting then then the total number of smokers in singapore. PLEASE DO CONVINCE ME. HURHUR.

and oh, if u are gonna build a cottage on the peak of the alps, perhaps u could use a small charcoal stove to do ur meals? sorry, charcoal produces excessive carbon dioxide as well, as well as sulphur dioxide (i think), so how are u gonna breathe in clean air? from ur oxygen tank?

so whats ur stand on smoking? that it is a personal prejudiced against smoking and smokers? if its your personal choice that u can give a somewhat logical reason, then its fine with me? as in, its each and everyone personal preference, like how some people prefer chicken rice over duck rice.

but if its a illogical reason to hate smoking, which stems out from a personal prejudiced against smokers and smoking, im fine with that too. but that just puts u along side with racism, racist who just have and unexplainable/illogical reason to hate a particular race/religion. like sucha excuses like 'i just hate smokers' puts u along side with pp who say 'i dont like that race cuz they arent pure' (not targeted at any specified race/religion)

just live and let live, and let the smoker light up in peace.

Updated 2 hours ago - Add Comment - 2 Comments - Report Note

Sharon Lim at 1:10am January 10

TAKE A CHILL PILL. and is taht targetted at me?! pfft.

Tan Jia Yi at 1:21am January 10

As far as I'm concerned, the air is public property. Unfortunately, smoke invades other ppl's immediate surroundings. N pls do pity those who get throbbing headaches at the pungent smell (or whatever chemicals exist in that stick). I don't mind ppl who do need a puff now and then and make it discreet, and they have no control whatsoever in change of wind direction or anything.

I do wish there's some kind of air bubble device though that lets the smoker hang out in the haze that so intoxicates him, without affecting the ppl around him. But until then, tolerance and the ability to hold my breath must suffice.

day 8: smoke me not

2009-01-09T02:48:00.002+08:00

i never really had an issue with people smoking- if they were considerate enough. but after being a passive smoker to more than 100 people everyday for the past week, and experiencing puberty again, i believe that more should be done. i don't hate smokers. i just hate people smoking (literal and maybe figurative).

reasons why government should ban smoking
1. it is bad for health.
-causes death of 2.4 million people a year around the globe.
-lung cancer
only 16% of people with lung cancer survive 5 years
-bladder, cervical, esophageal, kidney, leukemia, mouth, pancreatic, and stomach cancers
-asthma, birth defects, cataracts, increased bad cholesterol levels, decreased fertility, high blood pressure, impotence, increased insulin resistance, peptic ulcers and stiffening of arteries.

2. it is bad for the health of your neighbours
-it is 24% more likely a passive smoker gets lung cancer than a smoker himself/herself.
-In the UK, more than 17,000 children under the age of 5 are admitted to hospital due to the effects of passive smoking, every year.

-so don't be a selfish f*ck.

3. it is expensive.
-one box of cigarette costs at least 10 bucks in Singapore. if you multiply that by 30, it is $300 a month.
-smoking related illnesses cost the US, $60 billion per year.

4. it damages everything else.
-fire caused by smoking cost the US $500 million apart from human lives.
-1 in 3 butts are dropped as litter.
-In Singapore, the air quality in pubs and eateries which allow indoor smoking is 28 times more polluted than smoke-free sites and outdoor venues.

5. it wastes resources.
-Billionaires Bill Gates and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced plans on Wednesday to donate 500 million dollars to the worldwide campaign to stop people from smoking.
-In Malaysia, government has spent about RM100 million of taxpayers’ money for the quit smoking campaign. yet, there was no indication that the number of smokers had gone down.

-JUST BAN SMOKING. it saves time, effort and money.

-and it is probably easier to find anti-smoking sites than porn.

6. Because chewing gums are not allowed in Singapore.
-if the reason why chewing gum littering is the reason why it is banned, what about cigarette butts?

7. it is an excuse.
-an excuse to not to work.
-an excuse for failing ippt.
-smokers pay the same amount for insurance as non-smokers; why should a non smoker suffer, paying the same amount, like that of a passive smoker who has 90% of more chance to avail the reimbursement?
-an excuse for people to smuggle

8. leads to impotency.
-now you wonder what's contributing to ageing population in Singapore.

(evidence that smoke ban is good)
1. national workplace ban on smoking in Ireland resulted in an 83 percent reduction in air pollution in pubs, an 80 percent decrease in airborne carcinogens for patrons and staff, and an improvement in the respiratory health of bar workers, according to a one-year follow-up study.

2. Further dramatic evidence emerged last night to show that banning smoking in public reduces the rate of heart attacks.

Hospital admissions for heart attacks dropped by 17 per cent in the year after the legislation was introduced in Scotland.

i do really wonder what would it be like to ban smoking nationwide. even if it's just for one day? anyway, if you have the time, and maybe passion, add to this list! or you may want to google, and refer to the website below to find out more =))

http://www.sma.org.sg/smj/4307/4307a2.pdf

cheers to no smoking.

__________

Jerome Chan at 5:16pm January 8

dont be a selfish fuck urself too! smokers have their rights to smoke :D

Cheryl Tan Wei Yan at 5:25pm January 8

it's only their right to smoke in a box or somethin where the smoke cant annoy others..

Bryan Kit F at 6:26pm January 8

i think some smokers are selfish too and should fuck themselves...they deprive the non-smokers to breathe healthy air by smoking even in restricted areas. So much talking about right? shameful!

Nigel Goh at 9:40pm January 8

IMHO if ppl want to smoke, tt's their business, it's nt for us to say hw they should lead their lives. but they should be considerate and ensure tt their cigarette smoke does not affect the ppl ard them (e.g next table etc...) if the know tt their cigarette smoke will affect ppl ard them, they should walk away to another place and smoke. cuz it's nt fair tt other ppl should suffer for their pleasure.

Reina Tambunan at 9:44pm January 8

? you experienced puberty again? aiyo. poor you.

Shaun Chua at 9:45pm January 8

well you must also understand, if its not banned, then they have the right to smoke as it is their own decision... its not right for the government to restrict how we choose to live our lives.

true enough its important that smokers should respect the wishes of those that do not smoke. you should observe some that smoke, some of them actually do postiviely puff out their smoke away from people. its the least they can do and a polite way to do it as well..

Yun Wong Li at 11:21pm January 8

there are very polite & considerate smokers who do make it a point to not smoke near non-smokers & throw their cigarette butts in proper litter bins. just because they made a choice to smoke, it does not mean they deserve to be ostracized. after all, everybody deserves to live the kinda life they want. If people knows that smoking will burn a hole in their pockets & their lungs but they still choose to do it, just as long as they do not affect others negatively, who are we to teach them otherwise?

make it clear if this post is aiming only at those inconsiderate & selfish smokers, or all smokers. otherwise, many people are going to get very offended that someone is suggesting that the government should control how they should live, as though their lifestyle is wrong just because they smoke.

by the way, banning things like smoking... we don't want our government to start thinking that they have our support to become dictators do we??

Se Wei Ng at 2:26am January 9

hey all! thanks so much for all your comments. i realised this space was too short for me to write anything so i wrote a new note. do read if you have the time =))

______________

wow. thanks for all your comments. and i believe that it is true that everyone has their own rights to lead their lives. and definitely to pick up smoking or not.

and i do realise that my note was rather discriminatory, probably offensive to some people. oh by the way, my grandmother is a very heavy smoker. she's still alive today, just a little senile.

but i just want to point out that, at the end of the day, smoking does more harm than good. and it is not a very easy habit to kick. do correct me if i'm wrong because i strongly believe in this.

perhaps i will not see it as a non smoker,b ecause the only plus advantage i see to pick smoking is that it is an amazing social tool (it really is). or maybe that it used to be a luxury good, and it should be safe enough if it is 'consumed' like how people appreciate wine.

but do consider the following: would you want OR would you not mind to see your children (or more relevantly, your younger siblings) pick up smoking?

let's say you choose the first option, the 'you want' option. honestly, i am really curious if you choose this option. because i really have no idea why. is it because you can be proud to tell your friends that you have succeeded in convincing your child that all the smoking ads are not true? or perhaps because your child has picked up a 'hobby' similar to yours? fill me in please.

and then the second option. if you were a smoker, most people would not mind their child to pick up the habit. but just being 'don't mind' is inconclusive. because, 'don't mind' can be no- most likely because you don't have a strong moral ground to ensure that your child doesn't smoke, and therefore, you don't mind your child smoking.

so do you want your child to smoke? yes or no?

if yes, good. share with me please. i would really like to know.

if no, enough said.

and let us be a little more adventurous here. let's replace smoking with heroin. or maybe not so extreme; let's use ecstasy. since most people would argue that it is the choice of an individual to pick up a habit or not, why would the government ban people taking ecstasy? isn't it an infringement of individual rights? so are we a communist state now? so let's all move to ajax.

i believe the reason why most government ban ecstasy is because they are very addictive, and detrimental to the user's health. now, doesn't that sound familiar?

and i compare a lot. compare with chewing gum of course. so many people are upset that chewing gums are not allowed in Singapore, and no doubt, i belong to this group. but we also do understand that why the government ban them is because of the high social costs incurred. and it is really disgusting to hold onto the hand rail only to realise you need a little more effort to pull your hand away.

and i am also a strong believer in mathematics.

the only acceptable answer that i can find right now why singapore government does not want to ban the stick is because of the how duty fee it can collect. one friend even joked with me that by driving down geylang, you can tell how rich our government is- because there are just so many cigarette smugglers. sadly to say, cigarette does add to our GDP, and it is not an overnight thing to find something to replace such a big portion of the economy (in my mind right now, i'm wondering why the government doesn't want to bring in weed?- they can earn even more from tax- i'll keep this portion bracketed for now).

anyway to jerome: to add to your disappointment, i do look forward to the day when i can breathe in fresh air every single minute. and yes, i do agree that i was selfish. considering that i was facing the 100 smokers a day, and when i do not want to compromise with what all of them are doing, i guess that is a very selfish thing to do. so maybe they are not. i am. sorry about that.

so if you are a smoker, let me know why you do smoke and how it can improve the lives of the people around you?

but the rest, if you don't hate me that much, and care enough, support =)
oh and please don't tell me it is a fashion statement.

now, i do wonder what is the right of a non-smoker...
(they tried to make me go to rehab but i said no no no)

p.s. to all my friends who do smoke, i love you as much as before. anyway, it could be a very naive point of view so don't feel offended, and let me know what's right and wrong alright? but till then, stay smoke free if possible =))

day 7

2009-01-08T01:22:00.000+08:00

sold two lion heads =))

day 6

2009-01-07T01:00:00.001+08:00

bad day. but bad meannss goooodd..

Day 5

2009-01-06T01:37:00.012+08:00

day 4

2009-01-05T01:45:00.001+08:00

day 3

2009-01-04T02:55:00.002+08:00

i'm too tired to sleep right now. anyway, before i should have any reasons to forget, i shall list down the things i wanna be/do/complete this year again.

1. to tell myself i enjoy every single thing that i am or i will be doing. including 'sai-gangs'.
2. decide than hesitate.
3. lie less. or at least i should have this auto-suggestion that i should be telling the truth every single time.
4. score good grades. at least a 4.0
5. help my dad make more money.
6. improve my english. or at least i should write less complicated and have my expressions making sense. simplicity is the new beauty perhaps.
7. to score a hat trick in a 90 minute game.
8. to have a supermodel girfriend. if by 31st december i do not have one, i'll play the sims.
9. to taiwan or japan by aug 2009.
10. sleep consistently.

and i'm real sleepy now.

day 2: television

2009-01-03T01:47:00.002+08:00

i'm so proud of my dad. his shop is on tv!!

http://video2.channelnewsasia.com/cnavideos/chineseplayer.asp?skin=Player1.swf&player=chineseplayer.swf&filename=xin_ch_fri02.flv

and today's probably the longest day i had in a very long time, also indicating how much i've been nuaing prior to the new year. i was supposed to wake up at 8 this morning. and that proved to be awfully difficult. my mom took 15 minutes just to drag me up on backside, while i took the next half an hour trying to look for excuses not to leave my bed. somehow, it felt so much worse than army.

spent the next few hours trying to sober up. the hang over from ian's party from hung over. i was dragging my feet everywhere i go, and even my breakfast tasted terrible. just the kind of day i swore i did not want to have ever again. i hate murphy!

oh. i'm just so tired now that i cannot think anymore. happy fa cup day.

day one

2009-01-02T01:27:00.003+08:00

and day one's over. it has been a good 24 hours, not remarkably eventful but beautiful enough. i definitely did not hook up with any supermodels, and i've also decided not to play football this weekend- so i guess i finally understood there are things more important than football.

it started like this. robin, kim and i were at the rooftop at haryanto's condominium, river valley. we were facing directly at clarke quay, and the view was absolutely stunning. we brought a couple of laptops up hoping to log onto the internet so that we can keep check the official countdown time. it wasn't to be, but at least we were able to hear the crowd from clarke quay. yes, we were that close. right before the countdown, i dialled my parents and wished them happy new year. they are first people i would and will definitely want to wish well. i'm really glad that i called, because in the past, i'll probably give myself some excuses not to. right after the call, i was wondering, why was i shameful loving my parents? silly old days.

we took a couple of shots, and were joined by a few residents before we started positioning ourselves to witness the dazzling display in the midnight sky. yet before we did realise that the people at clarke quay starting counting down, boom. no not terrorist bombing, even though minutes ago the quartet of us were discussing how would it be like if we were to witness such an incident right in front of us. the random stuff.

the next few minutes were almost magic. light streams seemed streaked out of nowhere, only to leave trails of golden glitter hanging for a couple of seconds on the navy background. just so beautiful. and no doubt, it's love at first sight every single time.

and i'm glad that i counted down this way. as much as it was a very impromptu decision. it felt so complete; if i were to compare, it's definitely better than sitting on the bridge off clarke quay with my can of coke.

we took some pictures, but guess what we proceeded on to do. not something i would proudly say, which in fact, i lament the fact that i did something similar a right before the countdown. we went to play lan at paya lebar. omg.

i was really tired at the end of the whole session, but i did enjoy it thoroughly because we played left 4 dead!! fighting zombies, something that i was so addicted to just a couple of weeks ago. my morbit fantasy, haha. at the start, it was really scary. like those scary movies. but after a while, we were really kicking ass! and that despite me being a cs noob. haha.

and i woke up telling myself that i must start to enjoy everything i'll be doing from now onwards. i went down to takashimaya after i had my lunch and i've made some discoveries of retail sales:

1. eyecandies are most obvious when you're doing retail sales.
2. singaporeans will always be shocked if you greet them. yea, the kangaroo under the spotlight kind of shock.
3. you are bound to meet people you know.
4. you are able to stand longer than you thought you can.
5. aunties are the best and the worst customers.
6. indonesians are really rich.
7. female caucasians do not wear bra.
8. the floor manager will always be the most irritating bastard.
9. you will be amazed by your sudden improvement in math.
10. it's your turn to be the kangaroo if you are caught smoking about your goods.

i'll keep it the list to 10 first. kind of the ku zhong zuo le, but yea, retail sales has really been fun. the next couple of weeks i'll be stationed at chinatown, so look for me there.

i spent a couple of hours at gabriel's chalet later on, watching little nonya and the rest of them playing mahjong. left early because i need to work tomorrow and waited at the bus stop for the next 20 minutes. i got fed up and tried to find my way to the main road. and then my experience in left 4 dead came back haunting. the street was very quiet, with breeze constantly tickling my ears. my walking pace increased and before any zombie could pound on me, i saw the cab.

cheers :):):)

two thousand 9

2008-12-31T01:10:00.003+08:00

hi there. honestly, i didn't realise it was this late into the year until christmas. 2008 has just zoomed past, so so quickly. and yes, like everyone else, i'm oblivious to this fact. and it does seem that time passes faster with each year. i'm 21, and i'm beginning to feel old. so it's offically 31st December 2008, even though my bio clock reads 30th. and i guess this is probably the only time left to reflect on 2008, because tmr's going to be such a busy day. and happy birthday ian.

let's start. i had 3 wishes for 2008. i wanted to smile more. i wanted to stop telling lies. and i wanted to stop running away. and when i looked back at these wishes a couple of minutes ago, i was kind of disappointed. no doubt, the first impression that it gave did seem noble. and simple. after all simple seems to be the new beauty. but i felt that these goals perhaps left me with nothing much to aim for. and the whole year did happen as empty. to make that worse, i think i only completed half of that wishlist. i smiled more, but not from the heart. i didn't stop telling lies. and i'm still running away from a lot of realities. don't worry, it's not those 'guilty-talks' here, but i just do not want to forget what 2008 is for me. and i do want to complete this entry, because there so many occasions that i left writing half way, and this probably explained what i was also like the whole year round.

it all started like this. dominic, his girlfriend and i was sitting at the bridge near clarke quay, behind liang court, with me holding onto a can of coke. and started counting down. before we really get to zero, we heard the fireworks. yea and we didn't manage to see those displays. i had a sip from my can and i turned to dominic and greeted him, "happy new year". and i greeted him and his a girlfriend a few times, before we head down towards a pub at boat quay. in between, i met haryanto, kim and ian. but it was just a brief greeting and goodbye. and i finally sang outside my lift that night. at the karaoke pub of course. haha.

i was working at cpf for the first couple of months this year. it was a really good experience, something that i finally could relate to with many people. because it was my first office job. it was a really big eye-opener for me, because i've never really been to any offices. offices that require pass to go into. having my own desk and cubicle. and staying air-conditioned for 10 hours. honestly, even though i was so looking forward to working in an office during my army days, i hated that job. hated, not hating. i was so against working in an office that i was always sleeping in the toilet. or towards the later part of my period at cpf, i was sleeping at a store room. and guess what, on more than 2 occasions, i was caught cheating on my time sheet. i do look down on myself now. and i do realised how much time i've wasted trying to go around the system. so obviously i've already broken my personal wishlist at the start of the year. anyway, i was asked to leave by the end of february (they told me that they wanted someone that could stay longer, but i would have fired myself if i'm my own superior, really). and that, was to my delight. how shameful was that. i also realise that by finding that cpf job, i gave myself an additional excuse not to hit certain goals i set for myself then.

and i swore i will never work in an office again. only for myself to eat my own words half a year later, 2 weeks before my school started. but this time round, i enjoyed my experience there. it was a telemarketing company, a job i got through desmond's girlfriend, meg. and fresh from my lesson learnt, i made sure that i will never be such a useless worker again, and at the end of 2 weeks, i have learnt so much, even if my job was just selling stuff on the phone. still, the shameful part was i didn't really want to let people around me know that i was working again, and that probably shows how much i did not dare to face rejection. how i couldn't let go of my ego.

but i did gain a lot from 2008. i finally get to catch up with so many people i haven't met. primary school friends. secondary school friends. jc mates. army mates. all those that i've lost contact a long time ago. and yes, thanks to friendster and facebook, it was all possible. of course, the list of people i lost contact with stretches on, but i'm glad that i started doing something about it. just a couple of days ago, when i was having supper with my uncle after work, i saw him bumping into an old army friend. somewhere he hasn't met for more than 30 years. scary right.

and of course, i'm not going to miss out writing about my business-building at lfi. yes, my very first experience with the real world. and it gave me a real different perspectives about the whole world today. at the very least, i've witnessed how oil rose to over $100 and dropped to $30+ per barrel in the space of a few months. and the fact that people complain all the time. when times are good, they complained about the high standard of living. when times are bad, understandably, they complain times being bad. hardly logical. that's probably why nash's equilibrium could only stand as a theory.

and i've went through a 3 courses that i would never imagine myself going through a few years back. probably slight tee-up, i do realise how amazing a group of people can perform working together properly. great teams divide the tasks and double the success. i learnt the technical side of sales, which is helping me well in retail for my father. and i also found out that the limit to a human-being is really difficult to comprehend. now there's hope for me to be a superhero. heh.

but through it all, i did saw how much time i've wasted running away from my own problems and weaknesses. and that actually became a bad habit. and before i am going to start my resolution, this is on the top of this list. i need to start facing the giants. kill that habit.

football-wise, i've suddenly had this crazy idea to become a footballer all over again when i was showering last saturday. yes, it has always been my dream to play football as a profession, and my favourite games are still winning eleven and football manager. never really touched anything else. and in footballing terms, it was a rather good year. thanks to the efforts by anthony, carrera fc made a revival in competitive terms. we finally started playing football weekly again and participated in a social league. and to our surprise, we had a relatively good start, and we're still hoping to win the tournament at the end of the season. but after 2 consecutive games last sunday, i wanted to drop the idea of playing professionally. i will decide at the end of the next game. that's probably second on my new year wishlist.

2009 is looking to be a tougher year for a lot of people. and of course, i'm included as well. financial tsunami is going to take effect. university syllabus is going one level up for me. i'm starting at less than $100 in my posb bank account next year. and of course the challenges i have yet to complete in 2008. it's going to be twice as hard, but i am feeling optimistic. roar. i am going to be a yes man! i will grow up.

and my personal new year wishlist.

1. to break my bad habits and be a yes man.
-stop throwing smoke bombs when i'm facing something difficult. you know what i mean. my first real test could be the customers when i'm facing in the coming month. and and also to stop blaming the rest of the world for my failures. and also staying positive.
2. decide whether i should sacrifice football for the 'greater' good's'. after all, xuanhui did criticised my decision-making on the pitch and i have been rather indecisive in life as well.
3. i want to learn to manage a shop for my father on my own during the latern festival. i'll probably be in charge of half the sales at chinatown starting on the 3rd. i'm really looking forward.
4. i believe i should be more consistent with my work in school. last sem was nightmare because i left everything to the very last minute. actually, it is more of the keeping to my promise that's the resolution than getting it itself. so i really want to fulfil this wish.
5. to score a hat trick in a 90 minute game.
6. to really improve my english. at least i'll be attending the english module the coming sem.
7. to find a supermodel girlfriend. to prove that i'm not gay.
8. i want to go to taiwan (or maybe japan) before august.

i will continue to add to this list no doubt.

all in all, 2008 has been a bad year for me. bad bad year. but worry not. like what they said in 'glory road', bad is the new good. i believe i will do well in 2009, not because 2008 is behind me now, but because 2008 didn't break me. yea i'm in the rar rar mood now. heh. happy new year all of you and i sincerely wish everyone of you all the best.

friends are the sunshine of life =)
se wei 2008.

dreaming of the sunshine

2008-12-10T15:12:00.003+08:00

a short post before i go on my cruise trip with my family. have been looking forward to this day since the start of exams. i just love the cruise; it is the perfect place for lazy people, because, there probably isn't anywhere else where you can 'nua' your week away. lol.

i was watching mtv cribs last night and i started wondering how the heck do these people get so rich. it's really crazy, because their cribs are probably more than 10 times the size of my house (i wouldn't even call mine a house, just a unit in the flat). then again the land is cheap outside Singapore, so i shall not include that in the math. rather, it is the things they posses. these people are really paid so much, even thought half of them are just some small time celebrities. now think bill gates. omg.

and honestly, i kind of feel that these people deserve all the things they have now. they had dreams, and they dared to pursue them. bravo.

and i need to start doing something about my life. lol...

anyway, guess what i dreamt of last night. zombies!!! i woke up with my heart still pumping very quickly, adrenalin rushing all over my body. kind of weird, because throughout the whole dream, i didn't get to see the zombies face to face, which is a good thing because they hadn't caught up. haha. we even had the time to get some drinks at a shopping centre (i was honestly wondering why people are still working with the zombies on the street- ah, my dreams were never logical). and as the sun was setting, we were stranded on a deserted street, only to see a limping old man from afar. and then i woke up. i guess we did not survive. hah.

i'm going crazy..

off!

train ride

2008-12-05T17:40:00.003+08:00

football manager 2009 rocks. just that my laptop's a little too slow for it. sigh.

anyway, i was rather shocked by what i saw on the train a couple of hours ago. it wasn't something very serious, just a little disgusted. i saw this couple closely locked together, tickling and giggling constantly. honestly, i haven't seen couples making out on the train ever since my secondary school years, and this is probably the closest. since there were not many other things to observe on the train, i decided to take a closer look at the couple. and i was stunned by what i saw. the guy has boobs. lesbian couples! wth.

actually, i wasn't that shocked when i realised that it was a lesbian couple that were having fun with each other. i was shocked because my stereotype that the feminine individual of any lesbian couple has to be 'hot', and i haven't been proving wrong for a very long time. ok la, not that hot, but at least decent enough to make heads turn. this girl is not ugly, but i just thought that she looks too ordinary to be a lesbian. and she has boobs smaller than her 'boyfriend'.

and then, something i wasn't expecting happened...

the 'boyfriend' spoke.

he has an adam's apple.

yes, wtf multiplied, squared, cubed...

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interesting train ride....

3 months

2008-12-03T22:48:00.002+08:00

'what do you want to achieve in 3 months time?'

it's probably simplest question yet i was stunned when i was asked this question. it's almost like asking why is 1 plus 1 equal to 2, yet this is probably more complex- it's my life i'm talking about. because all along, i've been dreaming, thinking of ways to have a better future, probably trying to be as successful as possible. i want to be living in a very big house, yep, like those you saw on mtv cribs. i want to be driving some fancy car down orchard road every single day. i want to be working with all my close friends, and all these goals before i turn 30. yet when i was asked what do i want to achieve by the next quarter, i couldn't find an answer.

and i'm getting a little bit nervy because i just realised that the 3 month goal is very important. it's like today if you want to build a house, perhaps you might want to prepare your materials in the first 3 months. build the foundations in the next 3. so on and so for. but if there's nothing to aim for, your house will only be that piece of wasteland. not too bad though if you just want that land to play football. isn't that true?ahh.

if i decide not to do anything, i'll probably still be mugging in school 3 months down the road. not that i'll decide to quit school or anything, but to just mug is a real scary thought. true enough, life as a student is very relaxing, but i guess i need more spice than that. some really hot girls puh-leeaassee!!

now, i shall go do my planning and reflections. till next time, have fun!! =))

round 2

2008-11-25T19:57:00.002+08:00

math is over!! woohoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! whatever happens to math now doesn't matter anymore!!!!i'm so gonna SU this module man. i only could understand half the paper. and i basically smoked through the rest of them. but when the professor instructed us to put down our pens, i'm more relieved than anything really. because guess what, i missed the last 4 lectures for this module, never really did any tutorials, and i broke my water bottle right before this paper. it's overrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but.

4 more to go. round 2 now. if i'm not wrong, it should be econs tmr....yea it is. this must be my most screwed up exams ever. yes, i blame myself. ah, on a brighter note, if i do get anything out of this whole examination, maybe... let's not go there. i should stop filling in reasons on why i should study last minute. most painful lesson learnt.

but at least it's economics tmr..

ttyl. now i wish i am albert einstein.

exclamation!

2008-11-24T14:58:00.004+08:00

examinations will finally begin tomorrow, and now i'm only looking forward to get it over and done with. sound so much like when i was in army, constantly counting to the days when i ord. yep, as you can see, i am not very confident about the upcoming papers, and when i spend my time blogging (when i haven't done so in a couple of months) instead of studying, it tells you very much how fantastic my grades will be.

and it's really funny how perspectives changes over time. a year ago, i was so looking forward to university life, because i missed school life so much. and now, i feel like i'm just wasting my time and looking back at how army actually rocked. ok, i take those words back, but at least then, i had free food and lodging. hurhur. grass is always greener on the other side.

ah, instead of being so pessimistic, i shall look at things from a more positive point of view! perhaps i shall end all my sentences with an exclamation mark! it's beginning to look more exciting now! woot! roar! haha! anyway, my ca grades are actually quite good, therefore, that is a good reason that i should worry! ah exclamation marks just look so stupid!

this post is so random. i'm just very bored now. have fun =)

examinations!! woot!!

chasing the dream

2008-11-23T17:33:00.002+08:00

woot. guess what. i'm finally beginning to study! 2 days before my first paper. hmm. i'll still prefer to look at the bright side. and i'll make this entry quick. i was reading this article from one of my economics supplementary readings (i should have done that long ago but haha!). it was talking about happy people are in this world, using a group of harvard students as a sample group.

the first experiment was to see how satisfied are people with their money. In one striking example, students at Harvard University were asked whether they would prefer (a) $50,000 a year while others got half that or (b) $100,000 a year while others got twice as much. A majority chose (a). They were happy with less, as long as they were better off than others. Other studies confirm that people are often more concerned about their income relative to others' than about their absolute income.

this is scary. simply put, it shows that human beings are a group of very competitive creatures. this also reminds me of an email a friend sent to me, which was meant to be a joke. it was written that '80% of drivers think that they are above-average drivers'. so much for humility. and these probably suggest why communism will never ever work.

then the second experiment.

The same Harvard students were also asked to choose between (c) two weeks' holiday, while others have only one week and (d) four weeks' holiday while others get eight. This time a clear majority preferred (d). In other words, people's rivalry over income does not extend to leisure. The result of this, suggests Lord Layard, is that developed societies may tend to work too hard in order to consume more material goods, and so consume too little leisure.

so, we are all lazy people. so if we combine the 2 experiments together, we can conclude, people wants to work less and be paid more. duh! YET, it is more often than not that we do not dare to admit what we want, afraid of what others might think about us. and that is why you see so many muggers in nus! i guess probably 75% of them spent 80% of their time on facebook. i'm one of them. haha. or i will take an example which i kind of realised last night when i was talking to a friend. i admire cristiano ronaldo a lot. yes, for his ability to beat players. for his stepovers. for the money he earns. for the glamour he gets. but most importantly, the kind of confidence he exudes. because he dare to admit what he wants and he loves. i am not going to discuss what he does is morally correct or incorrect, but when he admitted to the media that he loves to have sex, i was quite impressed. because i came across an article that wrote,

'A survey of American college students last year found that 70 percent of the women in the sample never looked at pornography, compared with just 14 percent of their male peers; almost half of the men surveyed looked at porn at least once a week, versus just 3 percent of the women)'.

enough said i guess. i also noticed one trend, people who often have sex are brilliant when they come to doing stepovers. remember what the fat ronaldo told the media a few years back?

so to put it simply, people are greedy and lazy, and at the same time, not brave enough to outright admit so. so instead of facing their problems head on, they run the other direction, hoping that it would dissipate itself. and eventually, stuck in a rat race for the rest of their lives, still not aware of their plight. even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.

therefore, i really admire those that chase the dreams. i was watching this 14 year old boy on britain's got talent and my eyes got moist immediately.

enjoy, while i'll continue to study :)

purpose

2008-11-20T11:03:00.002+08:00

HELLLLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! omggggggg!!! that was so long ago when i last updated. i bet there are people that thought that i have already given up my space little space on the internet. blame facebook, i'm so addicted to it. haha. but sad to say, it isn't the missing of writing on the internet that got me back here. rather,i just couldn't stand studying anymore, any longer! omg, i have never hated examinations so much ever in my life. argghh

then again, i found a perfect excuse to be writing on this space. yep. because of my laziness a few months back, i will be sitting for the NUS qualifying english test in a couple of hours. and i guess 'blogging' is a good way to warm up my brain. or is it? ahh nevertheless, i think it's good to at least let blogger.com know that i am still active.

so what have i been doing the past few months? honestly, nothing particularly productive. i led a boring life. i come to school, go home, only to find myself preparing to come to school again. yet when i was in school, i'll be spending my time surfing facebook, playing hearts, and sometimes football manager. anything other than doing my readings or tutorials. sigh. i'm such a useless student. until a few days ago when i started pondering about something that has affected many people.

i started to ask myself, what is my purpose in life? ever since nationals 2005, it seemed very much that my life has ended. a few months after that i went into the army, and yes, after a while, it's more comfortable to be given orders than to make them. then again, it wouldn't be fair to say that i have not done anything much during my 2 years as a 'soldier'; i believe that there are a lot of experiences during these 2 years that moulded me to become a better person. at least i'm starting to feel that arm forces are important and PAP has really been doing a good job for such a long time.

back to the point. even after i came out of army, life isn't particularly interesting. i went to look for jobs. i searched for business ideas. i start to learn a little bit about investments. i guess for that brief period, life was about money. and it is not something very motivating after a while. i started to hate my life because i'm beginning to feel broke. i hated my work. i hated the time spent just to earn that small amount of money that is only able to settle my 3 meals everyday. sometimes, i would have to skip meals just to make sure i have enough to last until the end of the month. so i guess what so many of them said was true. i was chasing after money, and the more determined i am to chase, the further it runs. and after a while, it disappears.

until a few days ago when i was talking to a very good friend then i realised i have been sleeping for the past 3 years. what was i living for? scary as it seems, nothing! at the rate that i was going, my parents are definitely not going to retire soon. i'm probably not going to get good grades in school. and i probably will remain a virgin beyond 45. yes, literally dead man walking. and i finally started thinking what is going to make me happy. what is my happiness? and what am i going to do about my life?

i started to recall those days when i was still 'alive'. and i start to realise i enjoyed every single second of them. i remember those days when i was training so hard to cover certain distances in the least amount of time. and i remember those days when i wasn't struggling myself, but rather, with a group of people i see every single day. and i was lucky enough to experience it twice, one during my secondary school years, the other jc of course. i was in a team that was full of hope and desires. and even if we were not supremely talented, we were so focused on being the best.

the key words are with those groups of people. with those friends. with those very good friends. and i think i will call them my best friends. the outram relay boys. the entire catholic jc team. like what all sergeants preach about every single road march, 'you can never complete this march alone'. this kind of feeling is really motivating, and right now, as i am writing this, i can feel my eyes getting a little bit more moist. pardon me for my inability to express well, because i doubt you'll feel anything reading this. but i guess the best way to put this is, i will not exchange these experiences for anything else.

and i believe there are so many people that have experienced a similar feeling before, just that they are starting to forget what is it like. remember those days you were in the dance team. or maybe in your school's military bands. or maybe for some, the rock bands itself. you spent so much time, so much effort, practicising the same thing over and over again, just to reach perfection. the best part is, you know that the people around you are working as hard as you, hoping to achieve a similar goal as well. you were fighting together on the same team, and you were so very bonded. for some, i believed you would die for each other. to have such emotions is really wonderful. that kind of energy produced, the kind of excitement we felt, and that kind of satisfaction we gained.

yet it seems that i haven't had such experience for a very long time. it took me 21 years to realise what is important to me. my family definitely is on top of the list. and yet it's also the people around me that is. i really enjoyed seeing all these people happy, and to realise that i have been the one that got through those struggles together with them, i think it's more than just amazing. as much as we're in world that talks about money every single minute, i think it's important not to forget what we have or had done in the past, who are the people we love and how we felt. haha. now i'm motivated.

now i feel so blessed that i'm with lfi; where else can i set out to achieve the same sort of goals and desires again? people doubted my ability as a runner before. people looked down on me as a runner before. so what's the difference? same situations, different time. same emotions, different people. but this time round, i believe the rewards will be bigger. now i'm looking forward to buy that jet plane that fly everyone that i love all around the world together. really big dream, but i guess it's a good way to restart my life isn't it?

friends are the sunshine to life. i love you, all. =))

58 Actual Newspaper Headlines

2008-09-09T10:50:00.006+08:00

58 Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Saftey Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
5. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Farmer Bill Dies In House
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
9. Stud Tires Out
10. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
11. Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over
12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
13. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
14. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
15. Eye Drops Off Shelf
16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
17. Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
19. Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
21. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
22. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
23. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
24. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
26. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
27. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in ‘84
30. War Dims Hope For Peace
31. If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
32. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
35. Deer Kill 17,000
36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
37. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
38. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
39. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
41. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy
42. Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
43. British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply
44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
46. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
49. Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
50. Air Head Fired
51. Steals Clock, Faces Time
52. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
53. Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni
54. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
55. Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
56. Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
57. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
58. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Source: http://picvault.org/2008/02/58-real-newspaper-headlines.html#more-135

=)

2008-09-01T17:38:00.002+08:00

it seems that ever since i got out of army, the months are passing by faster than the weeks, and the days faster than the hours. i am involved in so many things that sometimes i felt that i wasn't coping. yet i do feel that i am not doing enough. perhaps i haven't been as efficient as i have wanted. or rightly so, i wasn't efficient at all. and considering i have a math assignment to complete, while i am sitting here posting this entry says a lot. but don't worry, i don't feel like i want to stop yet.

we went to visit a very old friend of ours some hours ago. he was our coach, the one that actually taught us how to run. it feels really good to see him after such a long time. and it feels even better to know that his condition getting better by the day. yep, in case you do not know, mr sergit got into a stroke late last year, and was bed-bound for quite a few months (and just as i was typing this, chester called me and asked about him- sometimes you really do wonder are coincidences really coincidental). and guess what, it's his birthday today! 1st september, teacher's day. now i really wonder if coincidences are really coincidental. he's one of the few people that changed my life for the better. we had a good chat for quite a while, and he hasn't lost any bit of his humour. i am already missing the times we had running as a group of young punks under mr sergit, and i do hope that he will recover real soon to touch more people's life.

anyway i played almost 180 minutes of football yesterday. yes, two 90 mins games back to back. and i must say it took the hell out of me. it was the most tiring evening for a very long time, and i was so exhausted that i was lying flat on the marble ground of my living room, not willing to move. i was so exhausted that i couldn't fall asleep when i was laying on my bed a couple of hours later. yes, it was that painful, but i sort of felt good that i have finally exercised after a two-weeks hiatus. and i finally can eat carbo without any worries! hah.

and the second game was a very good one. we were playing against a very good opponent who were playing around with the ball for a good 10 mins in the first half. we just couldn't win any ball and they just wouldn't lose it either. we were 3-2 down after the first half, and we were really fortunate to have those couple of lucky goals. one an indirect free kick, one when we scored with only 9 men (robin, john, xh and i were still rushing down). but the second half was just spectacular. with a small change in tactics, we pinning our opponents to their own half, cutting out any through balls attempted, and destroying their play in the centre field. our counter-attacks were swift, and there were times that we were cursing the strikers for wasting the chances. 10 mins before the final whistle, we finally equalised, and right before the referee signalled for the game to end, we scored the winner. what a good fightback, i must say. and what a brilliant turn-a-round. my previous match was a far cry from this, and i guess i didn't make the wrong choice to play the second game.

and finally, i must start to do my homework now!! there's so much more to say and write about...but until next time!

student.

2008-08-08T18:27:00.002+08:00

hey hey. finally realised i should do something about this space. heh. how's everything going for you? good good? anyway guess what, i'm officially an NUS student. woah. and guess what i'm gonna take for my first sem. econs, history, political science, maths, biology. yes, biology! i remember spelling stomach as stomack in one of the class tests. i also remember crying in class because i failed my biology paper. and all that again. omg. i can't imagine how i'm gonna survive.

anyway tomorrow's national day! woot. national day again. funny how time flies when you're out of army. anyway, we have same birthday as a-mei!! yay! as well as filippo inzaghi, audrey tautou and whitney houston- yea, she's older. i'm still so glad that i grew up in singapore, and as propagandistic as it may sound, i don't think that there's any other place i can imagine myself living in. now wait, maybe england? where i could have became a footballer? dream dream.

saw batman a couple of weeks ago, and yes, you must go see it if you haven't! it is that good! it's like the first time i worship the villain more than the hero. and i must say that what the joker explains and pointed out were not that wrong, except for the execution of course. think about it, how would you react to a truckload of soldiers killed in an explosion(in american context of course)? and how would you react if someone pointed a gun at the mayor? the significant difference, and yet most of the time people just refuse to realise. and purely because we're so into the system created by ourselves, not aware that rules and regulations can sometimes be negotiated. and if you've seen it, remember the last part when the joker channeled two groups of people onto the boats? replace the prisoners with the terrorists of today. is it really possible for the boats not to explode? i'm a believer that it will.

but that's only in the movies of course. however, yesterday i had a rather interesting thought. interesting and a little stupid. heh. imagine joker really does exist in this world. what will you do? and what will the government do? imagine someone telling you that he'll destroy every hospital in the city one after another. scary right? let's just hope that mas selamat haven't seen this show yet. less exposure, less ideas. heh. but really, on the other hand, imagine you have someone of such calibre on your side. or even imagine deploying him in Afghanistan. he'll probably dig out osama without much effort. and maybe even destroy Al-Qaeda altogether.

batman. watch it.

and about a month ago i actually went down to watch the finals of the national inter-school track and field championship. the sudden rush of memories when i arrived at the stadium itself was already breathtaking enough. and to watch the runners preparing for the race, i can't help but miss running for my school. so much pride, and so much desire. and so soon, i'm 3 years older. but of course, i'm probably only 1/4 as fit as i was then. haha. the only exercise i did ever since i came out of army was football on sundays. football with veterans that have bellies as big as pregnant ladies. oh my. that's why i went to sentosa today.

haha, i went to beach volleyball today! unofficially, my second time ever. friday morning at sentosa. and barely anyone else on the beach. which was a good thing because i don't look very macho without my top. but it was really fun, even though i was an ultimate noob. haha. came home with a burned back and a sore lower arm. and school's starting next week. ah.

that's it for now :)
enjoy tomorrow!

poke r

2008-07-11T03:22:00.002+08:00

haha. i wasn't expecting any readers. but hi kian seng. hi hui shan. and hi reina. =) and i think i should change my tagboard soon. lol. then again a hacked tagboard do make this blog interesting when i'm not posting, no?

and yes kianseng, i thought of abandoning this blog at some point actually. because i just couldn't think of anything to write about. or rather, there are so many things to write about that i couldn't decide where to start from. and of course the frequent inability to actually express myself using english alphabets. sigh.

anyway, the week's good. at the very least i managed to get my tuition loan done this morning. i can't believe i'm finally going to become a student again in a month's time. honestly, i'm not exactly looking forward to it. yet at the same time, i'd love to go into a new environment. the irony of life again i guess.

am addicted to facebook poker at the moment. i thought that even without real money being involved, poker is really interesting. it kind of reflect life, and the different cross roads that we'll need to choose every now and then. say for example, you receive a good hand- an ace pair. the chances that you'll be able to win this round is really huge. but when the first 3 cards were drawn out onto the table, they do not exactly match what you have. so you'll have to decide whether to go on with your cards and give up this round.

now let's relate this to life. imagine yourself being offered a place in the most prestigious university in the world. you are like the top one percent of the entire world in terms of education. however, one day, when you read the papers, you realised that the course that you are going to study is some kind of a stagnant trade. so now, you'll either have to choose to carry on with your education, or give up this year and gamble for another place the year after.

quite a lame analogy but i guess it's not too difficult to comprehend. yea, that's what i actually found out with poker.

ah. i'm running dry now. have fun folks =)

good day to you

2008-07-01T14:43:00.002+08:00

when i first clicked the 'create post' icon in the previous page, i wasn't actually expecting a blank page. yes, somehow for some reason. i was just not expecting it not to be empty, although it would be even scarier if something's here. i suddenly felt 'omg, it's empty!'. or rather, 'oh no! all over again!'. i guess it kind of reflected that i am definitely not that most optimistic person you'd know. at least for the first 20 seconds when i am on this page. ah, now i'm feeling better.

anyway i had a dream last night. i dreamt that i was talking with these 2 eyecandies i had back in secondary school years. and yea, they were siblings actually. one older than me by 1 year, the other younger 1 year. i never really get to speak to them before. and i always have this impression that the younger one hates me. somehow rather. so of course, it took me by surprise that i was actually talking to them. and the best part was, they were so friendly and listening to what i said. but throughout the whole dream itself, i felt so child like. teen like. i kind of miss this feeling, and even if i'm only 21, i really wish that i can turn back a few years.

but, if you really have that power to live your life again, will you? or make it more specific, how will you live? honestly, i'd want to live my lift exactly the same way i lived. given a choice, i'll still want to go to outram secondary, catholic junior college, and then not willing any national schools' medal for whatever i take part in. detail for detail, exactly the same way. because i remember someone saying this, 'i don't regret what i've done in the past, good or bad. because they all add up to who we are today'. i just found this very meaningful.

and now when this entry is filled with words, i suddenly find it boring. haha. wth.

alright, good day to you.

fixing a pipe

2008-06-28T02:16:00.002+08:00

i was talking to this IT engineer just a couple of hours ago and he pointed out something very interesting..

imagine today you're hired as a plumber. and i am your boss, teaching you how to fix a pipe before i can officially hire you.

demonstration without explanation: i fixed a pipe.
demonstration with explanation: i fixed a pipe and tried to make you understand how to do it.
and after my demonstrations, it is your turn to try to fix a pipe.

in the beginning, you took 1 hour to do so. and compared to the 15mins i used to demonstrate and explain to you, it is a little too long. so of course, you went on to practice fixing a pipe. over and over again.

after 1 full day of training, you managed to fix a pipe within 30mins. and still not good enough. so you went on practicing every single day for the next whole week just to make sure you can fix a pipe under 10mins. you were so hardworking this very week because you understand that if you are unable to do so, someone else will replace you for the job.

so finally, you are able to consistently fix a pipe under 10 mins. seeing this, i'm very satisfied and therefore i officially hired you with a $1000 pay.

1 year later, i increased your pay to $1200 because you never once fixed a pipe over 10 mins.

5 years later, i increased your pay to $1500 because you are still able to maintain fixing of pipes under 10 mins.

10 years. $2000

20 years. $2500. you are now recognised as a very experienced plumber because you are able to fix pipes under 10 mins for the past 26 years.

and when you retire, i start the whole process all over again.

so, why shouldn't i pay you $2500 at the very start since you are already able to fix the pipe under 10 mins?

now replace the plumber with any profession. for example, being a teacher. as a teacher, your primary job is to facilitate the education of students entering your school. 30 years down the road, your primary job is still to facilitate the education of students entering your school. hmph.

something to think about right?

so long ago

2008-06-17T01:49:00.006+08:00

it's been a long time since i've done any updates, very much because every time i'm here, i seem to have this big mental block, unable to do or type anything. but hey, how's it going for you eh? the past few months have been rather interesting, because as always, so many things are happening. at the very least, i managed to complete final fantasy crisis core on my psp!!

final fantasy crisis core is probably not the most detailed rpg games i've played, but it's really enjoyable nonetheless. it follows the story of this particular guy named zack fair, and how he went up the military ranks, and the missions and only to be killed at the end of the game. it's quite sad actually, because i've never played many games or even watch many movies when the protagonist die at the end of the story. i have a friend telling me that he almost cry at the end of it. haha.

apart from that i went for my company's dnd 2 weeks ago. kind of reminded me of prom, and yes, the bad memory of not bringing a camera along. haha. once bitten twice shy.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/photos.php?id=565332530

and then there's euro. not something that i particularly look forward to, because there's really nothing to look forward to. probably because england wasn't playing this euro. i was very happy that england failed to qualify for this competition but when this competition actually came about, there is this lack of familiarity. i don't feel attach to it at all, although i must say david silva and andrei arshavin are becoming my favourite players. they're damn solid! now i wish i can play like them. hah.

there are a lot of things going through my mind right now. actually a lot of things have been going through for the past many months. one for example this thing about ambition. when you look back at your lives, when you are about 7-8 years old, do you remember writing an essay about your ambitions, about what you want to be in the future? i want to be a policemen, but i realised that singapore's too safe to have any superheroes. lol. so we fast-forward 5 years down the road, say when we just entered secondary schools. 13-14 years old. i wanted to become a footballer. and all the way until i'm 18, i still wanted to become a footballer. yet not anymore now.

we kind of realise then we were much younger, we have so many many dreams, and yet at the end of it all, we are not able to realise them. most if not all. because think about it, how many of you want to become a bank manager when you were younger? or even a better example. i stay in chinatown so i do see quite a lot of old people collecting cardboards, and even sleeping at the void decks because they don't have a place to stay. how many of them actually wanted to be like this when they were 14 years old? ever thought about it?

i believe that there's this fear of dreaming as we start to grow up. that's definitely why they always say of if i were peter pan. i just feel that what's the meaning of living if we just follow the trend and not want to think about what we want to become. no la don't go and commit suicide. but find out the reason why is it that we are thinking about what we really really want. is it because of this thing called fear? so then ask yourself again, is being fearful necessary?

therefore i really respect people that actually stay close to their dream. i was watching britain's got talent the other day and i was moved to tears. not by the sad stories they always like to paint. but the kind desire each and everyone one of them have just to live their dream. i feel that it is possible for everyone of us to be like them. honestly.

so now, i have a new ambition. i want to open a school before i die. that's a long time for me to realise this dream i guess. or maybe to buy over a football club, like abramovich. although i still think the way he goes about shopping for players is irritating, at least you are able to see the child in him. really in control of what you want to have and do.

ah. dream dream dream oh dream...

manchester united

2008-05-22T13:32:00.002+08:00

manchester united. the champions of Britain. the champions of europe.

it was really really one heck of a final. with so much at stake, it was end to end stuff. every single time chelsea approaches united's penalty box, my heartbeat doubled. everytime man utd went near to scoring, i jumped off my chair. and when drogba and lampard struck the posts, my heart almost burst out. and then there was the penalty. when van der sar wasn't able to make any saves, i felt so so frustrated. but when john terry placed his kick wide, i high-fived everyone that was sitting around me. well except for my friend who was supporting chelsea. when van der sar finally parried a shot, i punched both my fists into the air. that was it.

the adrenalin was so great that i was barely able to speak when i bump into huishan at a pub nearby. so great that i couldn't fall asleep until daybreak. yes, and i only just woke up. this was the first time in my life that i felt so excited, and yes this is really addictive. as much as the switching off of the television marked the transformation back to reality, i kind of want to have this kind of winning and championship winning in my life. it's really incredible. now, if only i'm a footballer playing for man utd...

what a way to celebrate my 21st. glory glory man united.

twenty one

2008-05-20T15:12:00.002+08:00

i guessed i've celebrated my 21st the best way possible last night. blowing the candles and cutting the cake with my family, it felt so very blissful. i love my dad. i love my mum. and i love my brother. i really love my family a lot. :) :) :)

and to think that my birthday fell on the vesak day this year, it felt a little special. haha. maybe i'll go shave my head soon and start my journey to the shaolin temple. anyway, albeit a little anti-climax, i'm starting to wonder what is the significance of the number 21? in a way, it marks the first steps into adulthood, but when i see so many people still having their parents to finance their university or even birthday parties, it's quite a bit of shame isn't it?

so i went to actually look up what we can do at the age of 21.

1. in certain countries, you can get elected as a Mayor or a Senate. quite cool huh.
2. you can enter quite more casinos legally.
3. become an insurance agent.
4. become a property agent.
5. buy properties.
6. having cheaper car insurance.
7. rent a car
8. watch all movies legally.
9. watch porn legally.
10. having one more hole to drill when you're having sex.

of course there are a lot more things you are able to do at 21. but the thing is, i don't really understand why are we able to do these things only after 21? because you're more mature at 21 years and 0 days than 20 years and 364 days? haha what the heck. i'm never good at regulations.

whatever the case, i did think about what do i want to achieve in the future. there are so many many things. i guess the best thing about turning 21 is that you kind of realise that dreams can become a reality. there won't be such things as age barriers (i mean of course i don't want to become an insurance or a property agent). for example, we've always been able to talk about having a dream house and a car. now i'm finally able to buy my dream house!! legally! sounds cool right.

i guess i'll choose to feel good that i am finally 21.

and for those who did not forget that i'm 21, i love you all. for those who forgot, don't worry. i forget birthdays most of the time. heh. but really really thanks a lot everyone :):):)

cost of living

2008-05-08T02:04:00.003+08:00

Price of River Place Condominium
$1438000 (1050 sq feet)
10% down payment = $143800
90% home loan = $1294200 = $3688/mth (plus interest)

Price of a BMW 630iA
$278888= $3843/mth

Parents Retirement
$2000+$2000 = $4000/mth

Personal Spendings
$1500/mth

Personal Savings
$1500/mth
Total cost of living: $3688+$3843+$4000+$1500+$1500 = $14531

Average Pay of a local grad = $2500

donkey

2008-04-25T01:42:00.002+08:00

There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride.

As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk. The old man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to make such a small boy walk. The two decided that maybe they should both walk.

Soon they passed some people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride. The man and the boy decided maybe the best thing would be for them both to ride the donkey.

Soon, they passed a group who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor helpless animal. The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

so what's the moral of the story?

zzz

2008-04-21T03:07:00.000+08:00

rich dad

2008-04-16T02:07:00.002+08:00

chris brown's with you is stuck in my head right now. it's beginning to feel a little irritating.

anyway, went to office today and saw a new bmw 6 series. ah. when is my license ever coming?! i don't even remember where i placed my receipt for my basic theory. and it's still a good two months away from my test date. sigh.

went to buy this bought at peninsular today. rich dad poor dad. honestly, i used to hate any books that use any words associating to money as their marketing gimmick. i mean yes, it's a innovative way to market book, but i just thought it's too overused. almost like those rich people trying to suck whatever that's left of the economy. until the rich dad series. at least for the fact that even J P Morgan found it useful.

because how robert t kiyosaki actually related himself to the business world is somewhat special already. he talked about how as a 9 year old, he was slowly learning to make choices that people are having difficulties making even during the later part of their lives. it's really interesting.

and the rat race, which made me think about the fast-walking people marching down shenton way every single day. it's a must read. really.

sleeping soon. tata

farmer

2008-04-06T23:39:00.005+08:00

The Mississippi River was flooding its banks and the waters were rising around Clem's house. The waters had gotten to the level of the front porch where Clem was standing. A man in a rowboat came by and called to Clem, "Hop in and I'll take you to high ground."
Clem replied,

"No, my God will save me!"

The river continued to rise to the second story windows and Clem, looking out, saw a powerboat come up. The man in the powerboat called to Clem, "Hop in and I'll take you to high ground."
Clem replied,

"No, my God will save me!"

The river had now risen to the roof of the house. Clem was sitting on the ridge at the top of the house, with the waters swirling around his feet. He saw a helicoptor fly over and the people inside yelled over a bull horn, "Grab the rope and climb in and we'll take you to high ground." Clem replied,

"No, my God will save me!"

The river continued to rise and finally it engulfed the house and Clem was drowned. The next thing he knew, Clem was standing before his God. In anger, he asked God,

"I put my trust in you. Why have you forsaken me?"

And his God replied,

"What do you want from me? I sent you a rowboat, a powerboat, and a helicopter!"

one conclusion. clem must be a singaporean. stubborn and skeptical. so are you like that? i think you are :)

life.

2008-03-25T01:47:00.002+08:00

i witnessed something so wonderful today that i can't stop thinking about for the last couple of hours. it is something that i could reflect upon myself, and made me rather emotional, in both good and bad ways. i felt happy, and sad at the same time. i felt excited, and disappointed too. almost like the in-between situation.

because this thing made me realised i had and have a lot of good friends in life. and every single one of them has been the main influence during my years of growing up. from those that determined my fashion sense to those whom created dreams for me. and for a person like me, who's almost always shy to meet new people, i am really happy to meet all these people.

but there were also instances when these people came and gone. and sometimes very heartbreaking. people i thought i understood, people i thought i could trust. people walking out on me even on the most trivial stuff. it's scary, and sometimes i do question if the kind of effort i put into the friendship was worth it. but when i look at it carefully, i do realised there are so much more i could have done. instead of deciding on where the blame i should put, why couldn't i thought of the better solutions.

i am glad that i learnt something today. i am also glad that there are always people around me that i can depend on when i fall down.

Off.

zombie

2008-03-13T03:20:00.002+08:00

haha. wtf is happening to my tagboard? it's really funny to see people get the kick when they spam. but i think i prefer the idea that some super secretive organisation is using my blog as a platform to communicate. hurhur. cool right.

anyway i had a dream a couple of nights ago, which was VERY exciting. i dreamt that i went for a holiday in malaysia, i think. kl if i'm not wrong. then suddenly, the whole city started to get infected by some stupid virus and tada. zombies. it was like woah. and then i was running up this shophouse, which was somehow very well protected.

the idea was really very very cool. i could feel the adrenalin pumping even after i woke up. hurhur.

ok sorry but i'm feeling very very sleepy now. not the ending you or i wanted but good night. wait. almost good morning.

selamat

2008-03-07T17:01:00.003+08:00

hi vixyda. you sound romanian, yea like the romanian ruler i was watching on the history channel a couple of hours ago. his name is dracula. and since yours is vixyda, i guess there must be some kind of connection no? pardon me but if you have some kind of secret message for me, i am really having a hard time trying to understand what it is =(

and hi everyone! i'm feeling good. good day today =) good weather too. only setback was i spent about half an hour trying to figure my way back to ang mo kio station after i went to jubilee for lunch. in a more technical term, i ho-llanded. i really have trouble navigating man. like those times when i get lost in a shopping mall after coming out from a different toilet exit. sigh. i need a portable gps. those kind that i can attach onto my glasses looking super duper cool like some sort of secret agent.

maybe then i'll find mas selamat too. and appear on the newspaper. hehe.

and talking about mas selamat. i can't believe so many people are talking about the possible conspiracies. haha. really funny. some said that he was actually beaten to death, hence his escape was a way for the police to shift the attention. some also discussed how he could beat up several people and escape the same way as those characters in prison break. i even have friends talking about black magic. what the fish. i think if i'm mas selamat, i'll just die laughing.

but one thing that worries me quite a bit though was the possibility for him to come back to do something nasty. after all, he's singaporean, and probably he'll know of places more vulnerable to our security; to have one person die would already be a disaster. but imagine the worst possible. bombing some renowned infrastructure in our country. killing thousands. and then creating chaos. socially and economically. foreign investments withdrawn. F1 and youth olympics no more. and the integrated resorts turning into wastelands. almost reminding me of the dilapidated gotham city in batman and robin.

even though i don't think this will actually happen, it's quite a scary thought.

>_<

=)

2008-03-07T02:32:00.002+08:00

hmph

lalala

2008-03-03T12:53:00.002+08:00

i am speaking with a deep and sexy voice now. my throat is actually hurting. all that because of one night of madness. i actually went for karaoke! haha! it's rather fun, really. and when we were actually trying to do those linkin park songs. hurhur.

and carrera finally played after a long long time. what i am really happy about is that the team was finally able to play like a team. we were at one point of time 2-0 down. and as much as we were disappointed to concede two really bizarre goals, it's very inspiring to see each and everyone still keeping their heads high. i was and am still very very proud.

however, even though yesterday was a happy day, i haven't been sleeping well these few days. having quite a bit of headache now. something is bothering me. yet again i sincerely believe that whatever's bothering me at the moment is quite important. it's something a little bit like now or never. i need to focus a little more.

listening to jon mclaughlin now. his songs are really not bad. go listen. at least it helped me de-stress a little.

that's it for now :)

saw this on the net.

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would
like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an
hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble
task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

it's dark in here

2008-02-26T02:19:00.001+08:00

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy - "I have a baseball."

Man - "That's nice."

Boy - "Want to buy it?"

Man - "No, thanks."

Boy - "My dad's outside."

Man - "OK, how much?"

Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are
in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."

Man - "Yes, it is."

Boy - "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy - "$750"

Man - "Sold."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's
go outside and have a game of catch.

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy -"$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that..that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take
you
to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now"

happy cny

2008-02-01T10:44:00.000+08:00

H A P P Y C H I N E S E N E W Y E A R

and things are looking good :D

finally got trimmed my nails. finally shaved. and finally got my haircut. and it just feels so good. finally made my first winnings on a blackjack table too. and not to forget that i finally had time to watch more than a couple of movies, spent sometime playing football, and most importantly, sleep without worrying about the alarm. refreshed.

anyway, i saw this news clip a couple of days ago on the television talking about people purchasing hamsters to symbolise their beliefs in the year of the rat. amusing, really. i just can't imagine when chinese new year comes around again next year. the year of the ox. hurhur. sadly, it also shows that we actually have the weirdest people around in singapore you know.

gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi

2008-01-30T17:32:00.000+08:00

i uSed tO tHinK tHaT tYpiNg liKe tHiS iS cOOl~ eSpeciAllY dUriNg tHe tImE oF mIRc. aDmiT iT.. yOU aRe oNe oF tHOsE poSerS liKe mE tOO, nO??

it took me quite a while to do that. that was about a good 5 to 6 years ago. as always, time flies huh. so much has happened during these few years though. for the very least, we are using a much much faster internet access nowadays eh? i still remember waiting half an hour to download a 3 min-long song. i still did it anyway.

was reading through the newspapers these few days and articles that caught my attention are the ones that are talking about swimmer Tao Li. for goodness sake, she is only 17. and for goodness' goodness sake, if you want to use some of the money for youth development, why promise to give out so much prize money in the first place? it's really very very ridiculous. anyone would have been irritated with such arrangements. and i really thought for a 17 year-old to be brave enough and be outspoken about it, really something.

it's right to not allow Tao Li to feel that she is indispensable for singapore. but sometimes, singapore isn't the only place she can swim in ya? and i thought the only thing that is holding everything back are probably ego-issues. however big SSA can be, wouldn't it be nice for someone to step out and explain nicely about the policies? rather than to shoot the swimmer with all kinds of remarks on the spot?

and it's still ridiculous to tax winnings really. those overpromise under-delivering kinds of situation eh.

sad to say, it isn't the first time these incidents happened in singapore sports scene. too many ego-clashes over the years; remember the 4by 400 fracas? and the especially notorious rivalry within the few singapore running clubs. they're all just ugly you know.

all these only show that singaporeans are getting used to a superstar lifestyle. we talk about English players not being proud to don on the England jerseys. choosing to play rather than fighting to play. we criticise these kinds of behaviour. and then we realised that today, whichever field you are in, representing singapore doesn't feel as important as it should have been. sometimes, we don't even feel proud about representing our schools; we demanded for so many materials even before we compete. honestly, i used to be like this, and sometimes when i think about it, it's really scary. gone are the days when even the fans are so patriotic that they would do any possible stuff to support their nation. where's the sense of identity now?

Off.

sleep tight >_<

2008-01-28T11:19:00.000+08:00

just when i was talking about lesbians and gays, i've stopped noticing their presence in the last couple of days. then i realised it's only monday and i've been sleeping the whole of yeterday... but enough about lesbians and gays; they haven't exactly been messing around with me apart from the fact that the lesbians are taking away all the hot chics. which then again wouldn't have anything to do with me because i don't think i'll do anything about it.

start of a brand new week, and i'm feeling good!! possibly due to the 2 goals i scored yesterday afternoon after a very very long time since i last played on the field. we didn't play against a very strong team though, but it's still good to see your shots at the back of the net right? oh yes, and an assist :D . oh man i'm starting to show off. but the best thing was me going to sleep straight away when i reached home. from 7pm until 7 am this morning. nothing can be better at the moment.

because my latest obsession is actually to sleep properly. it has been a very busy last couple of months, and most of the time, the only thing i'm looking forward to is the extended hours of rest i get on the weekend. which will end up in me feeling rather guilty because i could have put those extra hours of sleep into a bit of work. but yesterday somehow felt a little different. i guess i have stressed myself unnecessarily.

talking about this obsession to sleep, i was surfing facebook and saw this group titled we love to sleep. i should have clicked the join button but there was this statement that wrote that the group are for people who hate mornings. maybe i'm thinking too much again but i love mornings. i love the sunshine. and most important of all, i love breakfast; how can big breakfast and hotcakes taste good during lunch?

i remember waking up one morning earlier than i was supposed to, seating myself right next to the window, enjoying the cool morning breeze. it was raining very heavily the night before, and one should consider it should be the best morning to sleep away on. i totally agree, but somehow, i felt so lucky to be able to enjoy this couple of hours awake. it just one of those times when you could stare outside the window and allow the breeze to tickle your cheeks while enjoying those cosy sunshines that were streaking through the clouds. and since it was also the period when i was trying to enjoy my every moment of freedom right before my enlistment then, it was quite the perfect morning.

i just wish that every morning can be this beautiful. and i still hit the snooze button everytime the alarm rings before i open my eyes.

my life is just full of ironies, really. but that's what makes life beautiful isn't it? and i guess by understanding this, i guess that this is the most accurate reason that kickstart my week on a very high note. and since i'm not the most attractive person around, the oxymoronic lifestyle should decide that i should have a supermodel girlfriend with an angellic personality soon right?

and it could be coming true with a beauty pageant coming up ^_^ .

my next obsession should be dreaming. no, more like hallucinating...

have a nice week ahead!!

se xxy

2008-01-27T02:08:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time but hi again (=

the year has been rather good for me so far, and it feels like it'll get much better. very very very busy, but i'm happy. it feels as if i've finally started doing something about my life, my future. sometimes a little bit beyond words.

but something is beginning to disturb me lately. something quite controversial i would say. the rise of homosexuals. yes, i'll tell you that i am rather homophobic, although i do find most of them friendly and nice. sometimes rather sincere. honestly, i do not know if it's only happening around me but it seems either more and more very macho guys are sticking very close together, or hot babes holding hands with young punks that have boobs. very disturbing.

but more disturbing is the fact that you know these people had very healthy relationships in the past. and the dumbest reason to be given are those emotional scars. so i'm just wondering, females telling little kids that their boyfriends have boobs will not affect anything?

ok. let's move along a more scientific point of view. nature or nurture. or rather, nature and nurture. yes, very fair enough, there are the xx, xy and the xxy chromosomes to back up the fact that homosexuality is something rather pre-determined. and in fact, i'm totally fine with the fact that there are different tendencies around.

and then you should stop right there. like say, it's fine to just hang out at those pubs where people enjoy being with the same sex. but DONT market this practice!! because i believe homosexuality can be nurtured. how?

i'll give you a very technical example. the following example is just for easy explanation and not meant for discrimination. let's talk about a blind man. if let's say he is really poking something, why would he care as long as he's enjoying? it's probably no different poking the a hole of a male and a female technically (yes, an*l sex is forbidden in singapore but i believe a lot of people are doing it; how is the government able to identify who has an*l or not?). balls of fury remember?

or a less explicit example. if you grow up having two dads or moms kissing each other everyday in the morning, won't you find that absolutely normal after a long time?

the government recently became more tolerant of such activities, which is really nothing wrong. but that doesn't mean that they are promoting it and i can't believe that there was this brief period when the newspapers were publicising about people related are relieved about it. i thought that this isn't something nice to publicise about, really. even if you are not sending the wrong messages, many people can have different interpretations. but lucky this is singapore, where the newspaper are still rather strictly edited and controlled, hence not going beyond that.

but this isn't exactly what i wanted to drive at. i have this idea which i thought with the government supporting, it could actually work. let's try integrating the gays and lesbians community! tada! it happened before in france, when a lesbian married a gay. you can force a lesbian to fall in love with a man, almost like forcing me to eat durian. but you can give her an alternative, in the shape of a man with a rather unique personality. right? at least we are doing something about it.

so for the guys, perhaps it's time to stop complaining about hot babes being hooked up by a handsome babes. we must do something about it! so submit your entry in not less than 500words if you believe that you have really very good suggestions.

ok. that sounded corny.

but at the end of the day, it's nothing wrong for guys to not like milking and girls to hate lollipops. and it's always nice to see people putting in effort to bring people with similar orientations together. but i believe that is the maximum it should go. if you really love a friend who wears the same kinds of underwear with you, let him/her go enjoy a proper life. it's best for his/her future, really. unless of course there's also something wrong with the person he/she is marrying.

omg. this is really a random entry. good night.

Helpful Hints from Class 95

2008-01-04T17:00:00.000+08:00

If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx.

If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.

If you want your refrigerator's ice maker to work, you need to hook it to a water source. Air doesn't make good ice unless it is mixed with water.

No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier.

A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is on the underside of your desk drawer, secured by a large magnet.

It's okay to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat.

When your PC says, "Insert diskette #2," don't do it immediately. Remove disk #1 first, even if you're sure you can make them both fit in there.

And when your PC says "You have mail," don't go to the company mailroom and look for a package.

The French version of Netscape Navigator doesn't translate English language web pages into French.

If you're in the armed services, and it's April 1, and you get an e-mail message to call Colonel Sanders for new orders, don't.

If you go to the computer store to buy a mousepad, you don't have to specify whether it's for a Windows or a Macintosh.

new year, happy.

2008-01-03T17:44:00.000+08:00

it's been a happy new year so far. first, because 2007 is finally over. second, i finally got to watch i am legend. third and most importantly, kristen kreuk is gonna act as chun li in the upcoming street fighter movie. i can't wait!

now pull your ear.

2008

2007-12-31T20:57:00.000+08:00

1) stop telling lies
2) stop running away
3) smile more =)

happy new year

sleep tight.

2007-12-30T14:39:00.000+08:00

kid: mom?
mom: yes dear?
kid: do you have trouble sleeping at night? is it because i'm too naughty?
mom: don't worry about it dear. why would you think that i am having trouble sleeping?
kid: i overheard uncle benny saying over the phone that you were bad in bed.

kid: what is being bad in bed?

direction

2007-12-11T11:13:00.000+08:00

there was this once when i came out of the toilet and headed towards this particular direction, i found this lady staring at me, as if i was the weirdest thing she ever saw. i promptly came to the conclusion that perhaps we had met somewhere before just that i didn't remember who she was. so i wanted to be friendly and i nodded in response. and rather simultaneously, she raised her hand, shot out her index finger and pointed to my rear. "the exit is over there."

this probably confirms my belief that i have a very very bad sense of direction. it's not that i am very proud to be unable to navigate. i mean, maybe yes, considering that this is a good topic to talk about. almost like those self-degrading instances when you can allow people to laugh at you, hence breaking ice. but it is more like me unable to do anything about it. it is just a very subconscious thing. if i cannot change it, i guess i'll have to live with it. sounds very loser-ish huh.

anyway that's probably the last thing i'd think about in recent days. weeks in fact. i have been really busy this month. it was supposed to be the total opposite you know, because i only just came out of the army and most people looked to have a good break before venturing into anything else. a couple of my bunk mates have been flying around, while the rest are busily upgrading their computers for greater entertainment. somehow that was the picture i saw of myself one year ago. i even declared to go party the day that i ord. but sad to say, it never happened. and sadder to say, the last time i did was about a year and a half ago. that day was angie's birthday if i'm not wrong. the day when i bumped into an almost drunk sajeev, but he was able to remind me that that day was angie's and chengjung's birthday.

i'm not saying i'm unhappy to be out of the army. who would be? i just missed that bit of life when there's nothing for you to worry about, the pay, the food and the afternoon naps you can take. but all along, i had wished that the day i ord to be a little bit more emphatic. it only didn't turn out the way i wanted it to be because i decided to not do anything about it. it's really that life changes every now and then isn't it? so maybe there's still hope that i can come out of the toilet safely.

and talking about coming out of the toilet safely. there was this part II to what happened the day the lady gave me the funny stare. in fact, she wasn't the only one. i was at suntec area that day, so in case you do not have a clue, the walk towards suntec from the mrt will take a good 10 minutes at least. i was happily walking with a few of my friends all the way towards sizzler and suddenly, this man, at least a head shorter than me tapped me on my shoulder. he gave me a similar stare, and mumbled something which i failed to understand.

"sorry?" i responded. he mumbled something again, this time getting a little bit more impatient. "sorry? i really can't understand you."

and somehow he got agitated. "brother!" it felt a little bit of deja vu when that guy too shot out his index finger. he directed it towards me and pointed at a very private area. "your flyer. zip it."

memories

2007-12-08T01:36:00.000+08:00

stars vs sand

2007-11-19T01:10:00.001+08:00

something amusing happened about an hour ago. i missed the last bus home. what to do? walk. good thing was, i happened to be at dhoby gaut than anywhere else. wasted 10 bucks travelling to airport earlier this evening, and i reckoned i shouldn't be spending so much already. but it was a good nice walk though. although it would be nicer if there was a very pretty lady next to me. hmph. actually not. if that happens, the lady could be more than just human.

anywhere, while i was walking, i saw this poster that wrote : the total number of stars in the universe is greater than all the grains of sand on all beaches of the planet Earth. pardon my ignorance but this is the first time i know about this. more stars than sands?! what the heck. seriously, think about the possibilities. if there are so many stars out there, what are the chances that there won't be another place like planet earth? even if we take one out of a millionth fraction of the number of stars that work like the sun, there are probably still enough chances that the solar systems formed could be similar to ours.

so are we still alone? just be sheer math, i don't think so. it's not that fascinating though. what intrigues me most is the possibility to have a real star wars out there. or maybe beings out there could actually have planets as holiday destination than countries. like many of those cartoons we watch. or my favourite imagination.imagine there's this carbon copy of you out there in a carbon copy planet. so think about 10000years in the future when we can travel in space. who needs cloning when we can abduct.

ah. the last example was quite far-fetched. what disappoints me though, is we might not live to see this day. the day when we meet other lifeforms in this universe. why? because-for example the americans have never stopped complaning about the chinese. just imagine communicating with a totally different species. say the wrong word and boom, you're tranformed into a cat. or a mouse. or a worm. i think you get my point.

walking from dhoby gaut to my house took at least 20minutes. and after seeing that poster, i felt so very small. more stars than all grains of sand. who would have even thought of counting grains of sands when you are on the beach? more stars than sands. that is the most ridiculous stuff that i ever heard. ridiculous because i have under-estimated the size of the universe by so so much. oh my god. and yea, god (with all due respect). i do believe that he exists. just that maybe he could be this super being from elsewhere and saw earth as the perfect spot to start a civilization. don't take this too seriously though.

i live in a big big world.

Off.

heroes.

2007-11-15T22:23:00.000+08:00

watch heroes. i just finished the entire season one a few days back and finally got started on season last night. and i have to say tim kring is a genius. from the many shows or movies that i have watched so far, it is really amazing to see how kring was able to twist and at the same time map the whole plot together. the story got started with people from all over the globe realising their abilities. yes, true, it is very common sense to tell that eventually these people will come together. rather it was how kring made them all come together. i won't say it is flawless, but, breathtaking enough.

and naturally, i would wonder what if i have those abilities. like regeneration. flying. bending through time and space continuum. or maybe even hearing people's thoughts. maybe i'll sign on as a policeman. maybe i'll rob a bank. or maybe i'll try to do a david blaine- i was actually suspecting if he's real, until i realised that the internet does provide an abundance of answers. but i guess if i do have those abilities, i doubt i'll keep it a secret. i think i have quite a big ego problem, and i guess i'd just flaunt this abilities to everyone. ah. no. i'm not proud to have a big ego, i just wanna be a goody good honest boy.

then again, will you actually bother to show it. or maybe think of this scenario. imagine you are hiro nakamura in the real world. you and only you have such special ability. and best of all, the ability to travel through time. you probably won't even think about letting people know that you have such abilities right? hopping around everywhere and trying to change what you didn't like about all this while. and even if you tell people about it, they will not stop laughing. and you'd probably be too lazy to prove to them. and when people really do get suspicious, you are already on your way around the world.

so now i'm suspecting. maybe there are really such people out there. who knows. he or she could just be sitting right next to you the next time you board the train. or the cab driver you were talking to a few hours ago- even spiderman has a day job. or maybe captured long ago, and put into some super secretive chamber for lab tests. and possibly dead from those tests. or maybe he is the camera man that videoed osama's clips (there has to be some reason why osama's still not captured right. this analogy makes it more interesting doesn't it?). or maybe the person reading this right here and now.

ah. i just got so inspired by heroes.

get well soon

2007-10-30T11:38:00.000+08:00

i don't think that there are many coaches that call their athletes sons or daughters. and it is definitely lesser to have coaches saying they love their athletes. as expected, i couldn't sleep well last night. the news did come too sudden. but that wasn't the worst scenario. too see my coach lying helplessly, very helplessly on the bed, unable to even express himself properly, heart wrenching. he did so much to help us in our running days and yet there was nothing much we could do but to hold his hand at the bedside. yes, i agree our support is important, but i just wish i can do much more.

this morning, i took out all my annual books and tried to find the track and field page. luckily they were all still there. we looked like one very big happy family. those days were really the days. but i felt very guilty when i was browsing through those pictures. before this, i was actually beginning to forget how happy i was in my outram days. how much we have all went through. and i felt so bad that i was afraid that i won't remember how coach looks like when he was still healthy.

and all these have taught me the dumbest yet the most important lessons of all time. do not take things for granted. and it really looked stupid now for me to regret everything that i did not do and what i am almost becoming. and it became worse to understand that everyone of us were fit and healthy, including coach. yet being fit and healhty doesn't guarantee you anything. and to even consider some of us are in the health sector. i can't imagine.

funny how life is turning around isn't it? the coach used to scream and cheered for us during our running days. and now it is the runners that are shouting to support the coach in his race.

get well soon coach. please get well soon.

coach.

2007-10-29T23:14:00.000+08:00

i've went to a lot of funerals this year. really really a lot. grandparents of my men. parents of my men. my own grandfather. and even one that committed suicide. and everytime i go to a funeral, i wished that i will never have to go to another one. yet somehow, it doesn't seem to be happening. it is a really really scary thought. it's almost like asking yourself, who's next?

i just came back from tan tock seng hospital. visited my coach, who could only move his right arm. he couldn't speak, and it was really heart breaking to see him in such condition. because a little more than a month ago, i called to wish him happy birthday. we had a very good chat, and was deciding to meet up sometime soon. and it came really soon, at the wrong place.

i couldn't help but think of everything he did for us. and as cliche as it sounds, he was the best coach anyone can have. because if there was anyone that made running interesting, it must be him. he treated all of us like his sons, his daughters. and of course, we looked up to him like a father. it is almost like telling ourselves if not for him, we would never have became what we are today.

it was really heart breaking to see him in such condition. when daryl told me over the phone that he had suffered from stroke, i didn't know how to react at all. it's a total paradox of how this world is being understood as. he was a very very good runner in his days. record-breaking good runner. to end up like this? at 53? and to think that some of us are in the health and wellness industry. devastating. really.

good news is he just came out from the icu. and probably going for some therapy that will improve his condition. this better continue. i will not go to another funeral.

Winners vs Losers

2007-10-18T00:56:00.000+08:00

When a winner makes a mistake, he says, “I was wrong;”

When a loser makes a mistake, he says, “It wasn’t my fault.”

A winner works harder than a loser and has more time;

loser is always “too busy” to do what is necessary.

A winner goes through a problem;

loser goes around it, and never gets past it.

A winner makes commitments;

loser makes promises.

A winner says, “I’m good, but not as good as I ought to be;”

A loser says, “I’m not as bad as a lot of other people.”

A winner listens;

loser just waits until it’s his turn to talk.

A winner respects those who are superior to him and tries to learn something from them;

A loser resents those who are superior to him and tries to find chinks in their armor.

A winner feels responsible for more than his job;

A loser says, “I only work here.”

A winner says, “There ought to be a better way to do it;

A loser says, “That’s the way it’s always been done here.”

the cow came home.

2007-10-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

i miss my school days. i miss those when i come back from school and sleeping all the way until the cow came home, only to realise that i slept so much that i couldn't sleep at night. and when i couldn't sleep at night, i couldn't wake up the following morning either. which therefore end up me being too shag to think about anything in school and looking forward to my sleep back at home in the afternoon. vicious circle. but i miss those days. when you can still afford to do that.

that probably explained why my academic results are like this. not that i am not happy with my result though. in fact, my hands were trembling so much when i got my result slip. more than what i expected. i was so happy. lol. my mad rush in the last 3 months worked. shouldn't dwell on it for too long. shouldn't be very proud of not even doing my homework until august. in fact, my parents were so prepared for me to retake a levels. haha. they were actually very worried that i would do something crazy if i couldn't get into a university. and i probably would if i couldn't. maybe run around the school naked? nah. i don't have the nicest body; my friends actually told me i look like a t-rex. big legs small body. hurhur.

and talk about not becoming a t-rex. or rather, trying to look more like a human being. i was doing a few sets of push-ups last night in front of the television. yea, that few sets actually almost killed me off; i realised that reaching for my head to shampoo my hair was a very difficult task, to the extent that i actually have to stretch my head downwards to facilitate my shampoo-ing. but according my previous track coaches, pain is good. hopefully i have gained a few ounces of muscles overnight. lol. and it's probably bigger now due to the sore. one step away from t-rex. roar.

was reading an article about mart poom living his dream about playing at wembley, even if he needs to play through the pain barrier. at least he gets to play wembley. ah, my stupid fantasies about becoming a professional football player again. sometimes, i really wish that i was born in england. then again, if i am really good enough, playing football anywhere isn't really an issue. think fandi. ah. i should just think about where i can get the money to embark on my first ever premier league journey. a little bit like back packing, but i think i'll like to pamper myself a little more. i have been pampering myself so much in my life. maybe it's really good to stay single. lol.

it finally came to my attention that i haven't had my dinner. i was supposed to wake up earlier to join up with my section kids (some of them are actually older than me) at serangoon gardens. i guessed that they were sleeping at home like me, and forgetting about the whole thing as well. tired day for everyone. the only thing that made me not want to ord are these group of people though. it's not often to tell people that the men are the motivation, but it had really been a joy leading them. lol. i shall stop being sentimental for now though. ord is still a month away, and or d is still the best thing on earth at the moment. lol.

i really need my dinner now.

Off.

perhaps it is a dream to see you again
and it was the dream when i saw you again

childhood

2007-10-06T13:13:00.000+08:00

woot. look what i've found.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SWAT_Kats

i've been looking for them for the past few months, only because i couldn't recall what these cats are called. it was really painful you know, knowing that they exist but not knowing their names. almost like 22 people coming together on a field to realise no one brought the ball. to make it worse, there are so many fictional characters with cat names, example thundercats, top cat and more recently wild cats. by now you probably know how exhilarated i was when i finally found their name on wikipedia. yea. wikipedia rocks.

and the whole show was actually posted on youtube. yea, they still look as cool as ever. all their gadgets, their weapons etc. and they even had a motorbike installed inside their fighter plane- the Turbokat. it's amazing how they are able to capture the imagination of so many kids with one jet fighter plane. too bad everyone has to grow up.

definitely cooler than Beyblade.

and then there was biker mice from mars (try pronouncing their name 10 times in a row within 10s. i'll give u an ice-cream). double dragon. phantom 2040. iron man. x-men (i love their intro song). sonic the hedgehog. and POWER RANGERS. woot. i miss my childhood.